TRESSA MIDDLETON was only a child herself when she had her first baby — in
circumstances that were traumatic and tragic.
When she gave birth in 2006, she was a 12-year-old schoolgirl and became
Britain’s youngest mum.
Now, six years on, she is expecting again and understandably has mixed
feelings.
When Tressa revealed the shocking truth that she first fell pregnant after
being raped by her eldest brother, her young daughter was taken away from
her.
Disowned by her family and denied all contact with the toddler she had raised
for two years, Tressa was devastated and felt totally alone.
She spent the next three years in and out of care homes, and turned to drink
and drugs to numb the pain.
But incredibly Tressa, now 18, has managed to turn her life around.
With the help of a drugs counsellor she has kicked her heroin and alcohol
habits. She has been clean for 11 months and is engaged to trainee mechanic
Darren Young, 25.
The once-troubled teen, who is expecting Darren’s baby in seven months’ time,
now feels ready to give motherhood another go.
Even so, being pregnant again has brought back memories of the fear and
isolation she felt the first time around.
Tressa, who has bravely waived her anonymity to tell her moving story, says:
“It’s taken me back to how scared and confused I felt when I fell pregnant
so young.
“Darren and I didn’t plan this baby and I had very mixed feelings when I found
out I was pregnant.
“On the one hand I’m excited to be a mum again and get a second chance at
happiness.
“But part of me is scared. I went through so much the first time and was so
completely heartbroken when they took her away, I couldn’t go through it all
again.
“I still sleep with my first daughter’s teddy every night — I’ve never let go
of the love I have for her.
“I was desperate to keep my first baby. She was the only person in my life
that I cared about and I really loved. But once I told police that my
brother Jason had raped me, everything happened so quickly I barely had time
to think.”
DNA tests proved that Jason, now 22 and the oldest of her four brothers, WAS
the father. He was sentenced to four years in jail. And social services
persuaded the young mum that it would be best all round if her daughter was
adopted.
Tressa, from Bathgate, West Lothian, says: “I knew I was too young to be a
mum, but I had brought her up alone for two years and loved her more than
anything.
“I was in bits when they took her away.”
Desperate to be the mother she couldn’t be to her first child, Tressa is now
doing all she can to prove she will be a capable, responsible and loving
parent.
She is sticking to her medication and also applying for part-time photography
courses at a local college.
She says: “I felt so alone for so long.
“I’m not going to throw away this chance to have a family of my own.
“I want my baby to grow up in a secure family and give them the best start in
life.”
Despite wanting to make a fresh start, Tressa is determined that her new baby
will know all about his or her sister.
She says: “When I give birth in January, my first child will be seven.
“That seems crazy to me because I haven’t seen a single picture of her since I
handed her over to her new parents. But even though I haven’t seen her, I
want my new child to know all about their big sister and if I have a girl
she’ll be taking her middle name.
“I would love to see her again one day. I get two letters a year from her new
parents telling me she’s OK, but I’m not allowed to get in touch with her.
“I’d love to have the chance one day to tell her what happened.
“I would love to tell her how much I loved her and say that if she ever wanted
to see me, I’d always be there.”
Just like when she was pregnant the first time, Tressa says she is craving
sweets and suffering pains in her legs. But this time there is a big
difference.
She is not going through things scared and with no one to turn to.
Tressa recalls: “Back then I was feeling sick and had a sore tummy so my
friend made me take a pregnancy test. When it came back positive I didn’t
know what to do. I was petrified. And when I told my mum she went crazy.
“I told her the dad was a local boy — I couldn’t confess that my brother had
raped me.”
Tressa refused to have an abortion but got precious little help during her
pregnancy from her alcoholic single mum.
Her dad had left home when she was still a young girl, and with her mum
drinking heavily it was often left to Tressa to look after her two younger
brothers, who are now seven and nine. She also has another brother who is
21.
Looking back she admits: “I was scared the entire time.
“My legs hurt so much I could barely walk and I had to be pushed around in a
wheelchair.
“I didn’t have any counselling and everywhere I went people stared and pointed
and I was bullied at school.” Tressa can vividly recall the day she went
into labour five weeks before her due date.
She says: “I’d been taking care of my younger brothers at home when I got this
terrible pain. I didn’t know what it was. I had to get my next-door
neighbour to drive me to hospital as my mum was drunk.”
She gave birth 16 hours later but there were complications.
Tressa explains: “The baby was blue and wasn’t breathing — they rushed her
away to intensive care. I was so young I had no idea what was happening.
“They moved her to a different hospital in Edinburgh and it was 24 hours
before I got to see her again. It was so hard.
“But when I finally got to hold her I was completely in love. She was mine and
I felt so close.”
Going straight from hospital into the care of a foster family, Tressa spent
the next two years bringing up her daughter there.
“It was hard work and I was scared at the start but I loved it,” she says.
“Although I felt like I was constantly being tested by social services as
the family had to write weekly reports on me.”
Two years later, when she finally felt strong enough to reveal the truth,
Tressa told the police that her brother had raped her. It turned her world
upside down.
She says: “I never imagined my life would change so much.
“Within six weeks, after deciding it was best for my daughter, they were
looking for foster parents and I took it really badly.
“I was introduced to the couple who were chosen to adopt my daughter and I was
concerned because they were quite old.
“At this point I was living in a care home and felt like the one thing that
mattered to me was gone, so I turned to drink and drugs and spent the next
two years trying to numb the pain.”
Around this time she met Darren and they turned to shoplifting to fund their
habit. It was when she got caught that she realised she needed to turn her
life around.
Tressa says: “I knew if I was ever going to see my daughter again or have a
family of my own I needed to get clean. So I sought help from a drugs
counsellor and started a methadone programme.
“Now I’m clean and pregnant again, it has made me realise just how young I was
at 12. I know 18 is still very young to be a mum, but I feel like I’ve been
through so much and I’ve matured a lot.
“I just hope I can prove to myself — and everyone else — that I can be a
fantastic mum to my new child.”
Additional reporting: JOCELYN COOK