LONELY Julie Dag set off on holiday to The Gambia in West Africa determined
not to become a love-rat statistic.
The sensible support care worker, 50, knew older women were often targeted by
local lotharios hoping to bag a visa or money.
Despite her concerns, she couldn’t help falling for local musician Lamin
Sidibeh, 14 years her junior.
He wooed her over the course of her two-week break. But when she came home in
love, friends were horrified. Ashamed, she cancelled her flight back to The
Gambia.
But Lamin, 36, persisted in his pursuit of her for an entire year. Finally
believing he must be sincere, she set off to The Gambia — and they married
one day later.
But after flying her new husband home to Bournemouth in Dorset, things
changed. She began to fear that all he wanted was a free ride — and a visa.
Just weeks after he was granted indefinite leave to remain in the UK, Lamin
walked out — leaving Julie distraught and feeling foolish.
Now she warns Sun readers not to fall into the same trap.
Through gritted teeth, Julie says: “Lamin hit the jackpot with me. I own my
own house, had savings and was daft enough to believe he really loved me.
“But he’s a conman of the highest order. Within weeks of getting what he
wanted, he walked out.
“All my friends warned me but, as happens with so many women, I was duped.”
Julie met Lamin on the holiday of a lifetime in 2007 after breaking up with
her partner.
By the end of the trip, she had fallen in love with the drummer.
He promised to show her a side of his country rarely seen by the 50,000 Brits
who flock to the so-called “Smiling Coast” each year.
Julie says: “He approached me on the beach while I was having a drink. He was
tall, handsome and muscular. I was attracted to him straightaway. But I was
sceptical.
“I’d heard stories of women falling for conmen in Africa. I was vulnerable and
I’d just split with my ex. I was the typical lonely, middle-aged woman. I
must have had ‘target’ written all over me.”
At the end of the trip, Lamin told Julie he loved her. She said she felt the
same — and Lamin even proposed.
Julie says: “We’d go to dinner, build fires on the beach and sit up all night
talking.
“I didn’t accept his proposal, but it was perfect. As soon as I got back, he
was calling, texting and sending love letters begging me to come back.
“A friend told me not to be stupid — that he just wanted to come to England. I
said to myself, ‘If he’s genuine, he can wait’. ”
Julie thought she would never hear from Lamin again.
But he didn’t give up — and a year later, Julie went back to The Gambia.
She says: “I was going back to get married. He asked for my ring size and I
bought a wedding dress.
“But when I got there, there were no rings and the venue hadn’t even been
booked. I had to buy Lamin a cheap ring. At the register office in the
capital Banjul there was a queue of Western women all waiting to marry their
own version of Lamin.
“They were all hiring wedding dresses direct from the office, a ‘one size fits
all’ sign on the dress hanger. I should have run a mile there and then.”
Julie spent two weeks getting photos taken, obtaining character references and
filling in forms for a spousal visa.
Two months later, Lamin arrived in the UK — and Julie’s dream fell apart.
She says: “He changed almost immediately. He began drinking heavily and wanted
to go clubbing all the time.
“He wanted the best of everything — the newest mobile phone and designer
clothes. I couldn’t afford any of it.
“I took out a credit card to fund our new life but it was soon maxed-out. I
paid for flights back and forth to The Gambia, driving lessons and college
to help him with his English.
“He’d spend all day on the phone with friends in Sweden, Switzerland, Italy,
France and The Gambia. I spent close to £20,000 and I couldn’t afford it.”
She says Lamin also became arrogant and aggressive. “I thought it was a
cultural thing so I offered to go to marriage guidance with him. But he
refused. He wasn’t willing to do anything to save the marriage.”
Julie spent two years helping with Lamin’s visa application. She found him
work as a cleaner and, in March 2011, he was granted indefinite leave to
stay.
She says: “Almost as soon as he got it, he accused me of cheating. He said he
had proof in a locked suitcase on top of the wardrobe. But he wouldn’t show
me.
“I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and cut it open. It had photocopies of my
bank statements, bank account details, passports, visa applications, bills
and proof of address. He called the police and told them I was brandishing a
knife.
“They arrested me and I spent a night in the cells. I couldn’t understand how
my own husband could do this.
“A week later, after he saw me taking paracetamol for a headache, he phoned
for an ambulance, telling them I had taken an overdose.”
“He was trying to make me out to be insane. I decided to leave him and I
started getting myself ready to tell him.”
But a few days later, Lamin walked out. He left Julie a bunch of flowers and
took a framed picture of their wedding.
The next day, he sent it back via recorded delivery.
She says: “He’d got his visa. That was all he wanted. I filed for divorce but
he didn’t even have the decency to show up for the decree nisi. I was his
cash-cow.
“He has ruined my life. How many more women are going to fall for these
fraudsters? I’ve spoken to the Home Office but there’s nothing they can do.”
When approached by The Sun, Lamin said his wasn’t the first marriage ever to
break down, implying that the timing of his walk-out was just coincidence.
He said: “Things work, things don’t work. The authorities have finished
everything now, so what else can you do?”
What she did for Lamin
– Bought his wedding ring
– Paid for flights to and from Gambia
– Sent him to college
– Paid for driving lessons
– Found him cleaning job in the UK
– Filled in forms and visa applications
– Maxed-out credit card on mobile phones and designer gear
– Two years helping with Home Office
– Total spent £20,000
Additional reporting by MATTHEW ABBOT