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NOT FAIR

My boyfriend expects me to financially support him while he trains to be a doctor

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M angry that my boyfriend expects me to support him while he trains to be a doctor.

We’ve been together for three years, since we were 18.

My boyfriend expects me to financially support him while he trains to be a doctor
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My boyfriend expects me to financially support him while he trains to be a doctor

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After we graduate next summer, we were both planning to get jobs so we could rent a flat together, with a view to marriage and kids in the future.

Now he’s suddenly announced he’s decided to change career path and study to be a doctor.

As I’ll be working, he thinks I should support him financially. But I know we’ll really struggle on just one income.

It doesn’t feel fair that I’ll have to wait years now to settle down.

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I love him but I’m worried I’ll start to resent him and that we’ll grow apart.

Should I just end the relationship now?

DEIDRE SAYS: Plans and circumstances inevitably change and strong relationships are able to adapt.

If you truly love him, you wouldn’t be doubting if you should wait for him.

Don't rush into big decisions.

You need to talk to him about your feelings and see if there is a way you can compromise. Can he work part-time while he studies, so the financial burden isn’t all on you?

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