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BULLY ELLIOT

My partner would rather gamble away our money than let me have dance lessons

DEAR DEIDRE : MY partner spends all Saturday in the betting shop but when I wanted dance lessons, he said no.

He’s a labourer aged 32 and I’m a 30-year-old hairdresser.

His betting is out of control - he spends too much on the horses and football
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His betting is out of control - he spends too much on the horses and football

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His betting is out of control.

He gets paid on Fridays and by Monday there’s only money for his share of the rent. I pay for everything else.

He controls everything I do.

Somebody told me he’d been seeing another woman but when I confronted him, he said nothing had happened.

I was distraught and wanted to go to my parents’ but he wouldn’t let me.

He begged me to stay with him.

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Things have been better since, but he still spends too much on the horses and football.

I can’t trust him.

DEIDRE SAYS: He is controlling you to mask his addiction, showing everyone else that things are fine.

Even seeing other women helps him escape his addiction.

But you deserve better. Tell him his gambling is affecting your relationship and he has to quit.

Gamcare can help (, 0808 8020 133).

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

Give him a time limit – six months – and if things do not improve, you may have to accept he’s not right for you.

Booking the dance lessons is a good place to start.

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