My wife says she is too old for a sex life now that she’s in her fifties
DEAR DEIDRE: NOW she is in her fifties, my wife says she is too old for sex.
She’s perfect in every way except when it comes to the bedroom. She is never interested.
My wife lies like a corpse while I have sex with her, once, maybe twice a month if I am lucky. But she’s simply going through the motions.
There is no intimacy, no cuddling, not even a kiss.
I am 54 and still have a healthy sex drive. I love my wife to bits and I’m not ready to give up on it.
In the past, I’ve tried to discuss this with her but she says she’s too old.
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Even when I have suggested I give her a massage, she refuses because she says I would expect something to follow and “it’s too much at our age”.
She thinks I am obsessed.
We’ve been together for 23 years. Should I accept our relationship is not worth saving and suggest we split up, or do I just give up on sex?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: This is sad for you both. But she needs to realise you are at breaking point, and you need to understand why she’s gone off sex.
It can become painful for menopausal women, and some lose their libido, so ask her to see her doctor.
Couples counselling could be useful too. Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).
My support pack Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive will also help.
