I’m worried that my husband wants to cheat on me with our neighbour
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband spends all day gazing out of the window, hoping to catch sight of our neighbour – it’s driving me mad.
He’s 66 and retired. I’m 62. We’ve had a good marriage.
We see our son and grandchildren and life was good until we had new neighbours downstairs. Then my husband changed.
The neighbour is female and about 35. She lives on the ground floor with her sister.
Their cat brought in a mouse three months ago and she knocked on our door asking my husband if he could help her to get rid of it.
He was gone for ages. He told me he’d had trouble catching it, but I could smell wine on his breath.
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He’s moved his chair to the window so he can see who’s coming and going. I know he’s looking out for her.
My mother is 88 and my husband keeps suggesting I spend extended periods with her.
I think he’s trying to get me out so he can see more of the girl. It’s ridiculous. What would she see in him?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Probably nothing, but she’s been neighbourly and he’s misread the signals.
Tell him you’re concerned he’s got a crush on her and listen carefully to what he has to say.
If this continues, let him know you are seeking counselling to see what your next steps should be.
Contact BACP – British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (, 01455 883300).
This could be a wake-up call – if he doesn’t stop, he’ll lose you.