My husband has no idea I don’t enjoy sex – I was taught that it’s a sin
DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’m happily married, I have never enjoyed sex.
I’ll do it to keep my husband happy, but I go through the motions, pretending it’s pleasurable, when I feel nothing. He has no idea.
I’m 42 and he’s 46. We’ve been married for 16 years and have two teenage children. It was the same in previous relationships.
A couple of them ended because of my lack of interest, so I learned to pretend I liked it.
My parents were strict Catholics and so I was brought up to see sex as sinful, except for procreation.
When I lost my virginity, it was a horrible experience. These days, you would say I was raped.
I have never told anyone about my issues with sex, even my closest friend, as I feel so abnormal.
I love my husband and want to enjoy intimacy, instead of seeing it as a chore.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s never too late to get help. Please talk to someone about the rape.
My support pack Have You Been Raped? will tell you where to go.
If you can work through this trauma it will be possible to enjoy sex and feel closer to your husband.
Sex therapy is also a good idea – my pack about this will guide you.
Confide in your husband. He can help you to find sex more pleasurable in the future.
