Girlfriend thinks I’m wrong for asking to block a guy she slept with just one week after our ‘break’
DEAR DEIDRE: My girlfriend slept with another man one week after we agreed to a “break”.
Now we’re trying to reconcile and I’m made to feel like the bad guy for asking her to remove this bloke from her social networks.
Am I being unreasonable? She certainly thinks so. I am 28 and my girlfriend is 26.
We were together for four years, and during that time we had our ups and downs.
After one particularly bad argument about the household bills, we both said we needed a breather from each other.
We said it didn’t mean we were over, but simply thinking our relationship through.
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But then I discovered through mutual friends that she slept with another man just one week after I’d moved out. She’d met him online through a dating app.
I thought taking a breather meant no other partners, but she said we were on a break so she could do what she wanted.
There is no way I could have slept with another woman so soon after we broke up.
This has really hurt me. We had a few heated arguments and then agreed we had come to the end of the relationship.
Problem is I regret finishing with her. So when she drunk-dialled me last weekend, saying she missed me, I was delighted.
I’m hoping we can reconcile. But the one thing standing in the way is I know she still has this man on her social networks.
It winds me up to see them liking each other’s posts and is a constant reminder of her sleeping with him.
I explained that I wanted her to remove this guy from her apps but she went mad, saying I was over-controlling and ruining everything.
I’m trying to accept that she thought she was free to do whatever she wanted as we were on a break, but I’m hurt because I thought our relationship meant more to her.
I said I was sorry, and that I wasn’t trying to control her.
But the fact is she made me feel worthless by sleeping with someone so quickly. How do we move forward with this?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You both need to improve your communication
skills. The ambiguity around your break-up has fuelled this situation because neither of you clarified the boundaries.
This isn’t about you trying to control your girlfriend – this is about you looking for reassurance.
In order to move forward you will both need to show your commitment and respect for each other.
If she can convince you she wants things to work out, sit down together and read my support pack Relationship MOT.
