I’m terrified of my husband’s interest in violent porn
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS horrified to discover that my husband has been watching violent porn.
I’m no prude. I wouldn’t be so bothered about normal porn, but this is the very worst type, with scenes of rape, humiliation and strangulation.
We’ve been married for ten years. I’m 37 and he’s 39.
Knowing he watches this stuff, when we have two daughters together – who are just six and four – is breaking my heart.
He’s a good husband and a great father, so I don’t understand why he likes watching nasty, violent sex.
That makes me wonder if he secretly harbours desires to have that type of sex.
To be honest, it scares me.
Our sex life hasn’t been great lately. He rarely seems interested, although he tells me he loves me and that he thinks I’m gorgeous.
I haven’t said anything because he doesn’t know I saw his search history when he left his laptop open.
But he keeps asking why I’m being quiet and not affectionate.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your shock and upset are understandable, but his search history doesn’t necessarily mean your husband wants violent sex, or doesn’t care about women.
It's likely that he’s become desensitised to mild porn and needs to watch more extreme types in order to become aroused.
This is now recognised as a growing problem.
It probably also explains why your sex life has been poor lately.
Talk to him about your fears and ask him to stop. Say you’ll support him to get help if necessary.
My support pack Upset By Pornography explains more.
