My partner wants his badly behaved daughter to join us on our Greek holiday – she’ll ruin it
DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS really looking forward to a holiday in Greece with my partner but now he wants his daughter to come along too.
She’s a really badly behaved child, who clearly resents me. How can I tell him I don’t want her to join us?
I’m 45 and he’s 48. His daughter, from a previous relationship, is nine.
Since we got together five years ago, I accepted he was a good dad who wanted to maintain a relationship with his daughter.
That meant she would stay with us on alternate weekends and sometimes in the school holidays.
She’s always been difficult. She won’t eat what I cook, doesn’t listen to me, has tantrums when she doesn’t get her way and generally acts like a spoiled brat.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page.
But her dad thinks she can do no wrong. He overcompensates for his terrible relationship with her mother.
I understand that the little girl is probably jealous of my relationship with her dad and therefore doesn’t like me.
I still make an effort to be kind to her when she stays.
But I don’t want to spend my only two weeks abroad this year with her.
I know she’ll ruin the holiday, like she ruins every day out we’ve had together.
Taking her will also make it much more expensive. I’ve been saving up for this holiday for months.
Am I being selfish?
DEIDRE SAYS: When your partner has a young child, you need to accept they come as part of the package.
While you’re not being selfish, you need to remember this girl is only nine and you may need to compromise.
Perhaps you could have a shorter, cheaper holiday with her and plan a trip with just your partner at a later date too.
He should pay any extra for his daughter.
Children do suffer in a break-up, and it sounds like she’s taking out her unhappiness on you. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you.
My support pack When Parents Fall Out explains more about the effects of parental arguments on children.
Do talk to your partner about how you feel. My support pack Stepfamily Problems may be helpful.
You can also contact , (0808 800 2222) for support with parenting issues.
