I shake with terror when I see anyone in a white coat – I can’t live like this
DEAR DEIDRE: IF I see anyone in a white coat, I shake with terror – but I know I can’t live like this.
I’m a woman of 50 and my mother was a very domineering woman.
Growing up, if I had a different opinion on anything, she would shout me down and tell me to “shut up”.
As a teenager, I hated confrontation. I was bullied at school and called a wimp. Consequently, I’m a real home bird and I don’t have many friends.
My mother is now 85 and has dementia. It’s taken me a long time to get her diagnosed.
My doctor is a horrible man and when I was trying to tell him Mum’s personality had changed, he’d tell me she was fine.
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It got to the point where he’d accuse me of lying and I’d go home in tears.
Mum was eventually admitted to hospital with Covid and then diagnosed with dementia but dealing with the doctors and talking about her treatment wasn’t a good experience for me.
As soon as I see somebody medical, my heart rate shoots up.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It isn’t that unusual to have white-coat syndrome. Many people have it and find that their blood pressure goes up when they visit their GP or have a hospital appointment.
Your situation sounds rather extreme and you need to find emotional help.
My pack Fears And Phobias will show you who best to contact.
Dementia UK (dementiauk.org, 0800 888 6678) can offer guidance regarding your mum.