I can’t escape my narcissistic husband
DEAR DEIDRE: I can't get rid of my narcissistic husband. I’ve been trying to divorce him for two years but he’s doing everything in his power to delay the process.
He doesn’t want me, he just wants to hurt me and make my life miserable.
We’ve been married for 20 years. I’m 48 and he’s 50. It took me a long time to realise that he was a narcissist. At first, he lovebombed me and made out he was the perfect man.
By the time we were married, he’d become abusive.
He gaslit me for years, making me believe I was a terrible wife who didn’t deserve him.
Finally, my sister made me see sense. She showed me how I’d changed from a happy, successful woman into a withdrawn, anxious shell with no self-esteem.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page or email us at:
deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
But when I told him I wanted a divorce, he turned on me and became violent.
I had to get the police and a restraining order.
Now I can’t divorce him because he refuses to reply to correspondence and ignores the advice of his lawyer.
Meanwhile, I can’t afford a lawyer at all.
I need to sever ties with him so I can finally mentally heal and move on.
I also need to sell the house as I can’t afford the mortgage. But unless he agrees, I’m stuck.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Unfortunately, narcissists do generally become even nastier once you stand up to them.
Your husband can delay your divorce – it’s his way of maintaining power and control – but he cannot stop the process. You will be free eventually.
But you need legal advice. You can get an initial free consultation with a family lawyer.
Contact Resolution (resolution.org.uk) for professional advice. They can put you in touch with a local lawyer.
Also, see my support pack Thinking Of Divorce and seek emotional support from the National Domestic Abuse Helpline (nationaldahelpline.org.uk, 0808 2000 247).