MIDLIFE MISERY

My perimenopause symptoms have ruined my sex life

READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.

DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since my menopause symptoms have started, my sex life has completely died.

No matter how hard I try, I have no desire to get intimate with my husband and I can tell it’s starting to take a toll on our relationship.

I’m 41, my husband is 45 and we’ve been married for 15 years. 

I first started experiencing symptoms around seven months ago.

At the time I had no clue what was happening to me, but I was experiencing headaches, hot flushes, aches, and pains as well as vaginal dryness. 

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Because of this over time, I’ve become gradually less and less interested in sex.

Every time I’ve tried for my husband it’s been so painful that we’ve had to stop almost instantly. 

As much as he’s being understanding, our marriage is suffering. 

Before we used to have trouble keeping our hands off of each other but now we’re so disconnected and argue all the time.

All I want is for things to go back to normal. 

Is our sex life doomed forever?

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DEIDRE SAYS: It isn’t unusual for sex to become uncomfortable for women during the perimenopause and menopause. 

Vaginal dryness can often make penetration uncomfortable and painful so it’s no surprise that your libido has been impacted.

However, many couples do have fulfilling and regular sex during and after the menopause.

Visit your GP who can help. I’m also sending you my Menopause support pack which explains more.

Invest more time in foreplay and experiment with lubricants – both will make sex more comfortable.

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