I don’t know if my daughter genuinely has ADHD or just having a mid-life crisis
DEAR DEIDRE: IS my daughter having a mid-life crisis, or does she genuinely have ADHD?
She is in her 40s, and it seems to me that she is sabotaging her life.
She has always told everyone she has various health conditions and mental health issues, and recently has added ADHD to the list.
My daughter has always been impulsive, changing careers, going to university, but never completing the courses.
She has never stayed on one life path or worked out what she wants to do in life.
But she has taken a turn for the worse and suddenly she wants to divorce her husband – who has always put up with her – dyed her hair, and is going out on the town.
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She has even accused her husband of being a controlling narcissist, but he is the kindest man I have ever met.
My heart has shattered for him, he doesn’t deserve this.
My daughter has been researching ADHD recently and now says this is the cause of her impulsivity.
I can’t help but wonder if she is just having a mid-life crisis, and I’m terrified the reality of what she has done will soon come crashing down on her.
I don’t think she will ever find a man who could put up with her as her husband has.
Men in their 40s want a stable woman, not someone who can’t hold down a job and spends their Friday evenings in the pub.
How do I stop her from sabotaging her life?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Try not to dismiss her concerns or this will encourage her to distance herself from you.
If you want to be able to support her, you need to keep the dialogue going, rather than shutting her down.
Impulsivity is a symptom of ADHD, and it is possible this is what is causing her behaviour.
Other symptoms include having a short attention span, being forgetful and losing things, being unable to stick to tasks that are tedious or time-consuming, and having difficulty organising tasks.
For more advice, adhduk.co.uk has useful information that will help you and your daughter learn about the condition.