Worried my boyfriend is settling for me
DEAR DEIDRE: I love my boyfriend with all of my heart but sometimes I can’t help but worry that he’s only settling for me.
Whenever I try to talk to him he assures me that he wants me but his mixed signals tell me otherwise.
I’m 28, he’s 32 and we’ve been together for two years.
When we first met our romance felt like a whirlwind, but I’d be lying if I said that it was easy.
While we had magical dates and my feelings for him developed quickly, he wasn’t always reliable and sometimes left me hanging.
Eventually, it all worked out and we’ve had a great relationship ever since.
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However, recently I’ve sensed that his heart hasn’t been in it.
Not only has he struggled to get an erection in bed, but he’s been shying away from intimacy and affection in general.
Every time I’ve tried to plan date nights or trips away he’s made it feel like a chore even though he has time to spend with his friends.
Every time I try to tell him how I feel he shrugs me off and tells me that I’m being silly. Yet, my gut can sense that something is wrong.
He says he loves me but how can I be sure?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: While he is saying one thing, his actions tell another story.
He may love you, but his actions show there is a disconnect between his feelings and behaviour.
In a healthy relationship affection and intimacy should come naturally, so it’s clear that there’s an issue that needs to be resolved.
Pick a moment to talk to him again. Be honest and tell him that you feel as if his words are empty and you need something to change.
If he isn’t as willing to work on things, you may need to consider moving on.
I’m sending you my support pack Looking After Your Relationship to help.