I’m want to become adult performer after visiting local sex club but worry my family will find out
They see me as a grieving widower, not someone who visits sex clubs
DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER my wife died last year, I started visiting a local sex club and now I’m tempted to become an adult performer.
I am 57 and consider myself fairly experienced, yet I had never attended one of these gatherings.
My wife and I had a great sex life and were so happy together, so when I learned about these meet-ups, I was intrigued.
The first time I went, I was pretty anxious – but the other party-goers made an effort to put me at ease.
No one pressured me to do anything out of my comfort zone and I soon found myself relaxed enough to meet and enjoy a number of new partners.
Now I’m a regular and would count some of the others as pals.
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One of my new friends from the club suggested I audition for this niche porn company.
He said they specialised in mature men like me and thought I’d be really good.
I must admit, I’m tempted to perform and get paid for it.
I really want to give this a go, but I am worried about family and friends finding out.
They would be horrified. They see me as a grieving widower, not someone who visits sex clubs.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry to hear about the death of your wife. While no one will ever replace her, making new friends might help you feel less alone.
The porn industry can be exploitative and, as a grieving man, you are vulnerable, so I would not recommend this.
Also, you won’t be able to control who sees this content – family and friends might stumble upon it.
Check out meetup.com, which shows events and clubs in your local area. Rest Less (restless.co.uk) is also a great way to connect with other people over 50.
My support packs Feeling Lonely and Coping With Bereavement may be of use, too.