My boyfriend always says he’s too stressed to have sex
READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is too stressed to have sex with me, or so he says.
He’s a police officer so I know he has a demanding job but I’m beginning to think something is wrong with me.
We met at a quiz night. He kept looking over at me and chatted me up when I was at the bar. He asked for my number and the rest is history.
We’ve now been together for 18 months but I haven’t even met his family. We kiss and cuddle but we’ve only had sex twice in all the time we’ve been together and he always has some excuse.
It’s normally that he’s “been so busy at work” so he just can’t do it.
I’m beginning to feel rejected and above all, frustrated. He’s 32 and I’m 29.
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DEIDRE SAYS: There’s something he’s not telling you. His lack of sex drive may be down to his stress but you don’t go into a relationship to live like brother and sister.
You want to feel loved and above all, desired.
Find a moment to tell him that the lack of intimacy is bothering you. If he’s tired at bedtime, then schedule in time for sex and see how that goes.
If sex doesn’t materialise more regularly, or he’s not addressing the underlying issues then it doesn’t bode well.
Keeping you a secret from his parents is stopping you from seeing the whole person so insist on a meeting with his family too.
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