My husband only wants sex when I’m ovulating
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband only wants sex when I’m ovulating, and it’s making me so unhappy.
I’m at the point of telling him I want to stop trying for a baby and just focus on our relationship, as I feel so rejected and unattractive.
We’ve been married for two years and together for five. I’m 34 and he’s 36.
Our sex life was good at the start but once we moved in together, it declined. We went from having sex twice a week to once every three months.
As we both want a family, I thought things would improve when we started trying. Instead, they’re worse.
My husband asks when I’m ovulating and then agrees to have sex with me once, that night.
He doesn’t want to have sex again - despite the doctor telling us we should have sex every other day to ensure success.
Every time my period comes, I feel depressed - but not surprised.
I’ve tried talking to him about this, but nothing changes.
I’ve suggested having date nights, going away for the weekend - anything to kickstart our sex life.
He’s just not interested. We’re not even sleeping in the same bed anymore.
I feel we’re growing apart at a time we should be closer than ever and I don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Trying for a baby can put a strain on a couple’s sex life, but yours was already in trouble.
Please consider putting your baby making plans on hold, as things are only likely to get worse if you get pregnant - and then you’ll find it much harder to get out of an unhappy relationship.
Make it clear this can’t go on. Ask him to be honest about why he isn’t interested in sex and explain how important intimacy is to you.
My support packs, Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive and Looking After Your Relationship will be helpful for you both to read.
Consider couples counselling - both alone and together. Contact Tavistock Relationships ().
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