I’ve always thought I was straight but now I can’t stop thinking about men

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’ve only ever had relationships with women, over the last few months I have found myself feeling increasingly attracted to men.

From eyeing up muscular men in the gym to fantasising about male celebrities, I’ve never felt more confused about my sexuality.

I’m a man of 55, and until now I’ve always considered myself as straight. I’ve had multiple long term girlfriends who I’ve undoubtedly loved and been attracted to.

So you can imagine how confused I’ve felt as I’ve found myself fantasising and thinking about sleeping with men.

I have no idea where these feelings have come from, but they've been playing on my mind.

Now I can't even walk down the street without having thoughts about attractive men that pass by, and it's starting to consume me.

I’ve even had several very sexy dreams, and I’ve become increasingly obsessed with watching gay porn.

Could this be just a phase? I can't make sense of these feelings.

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DEIDRE SAYS: For many people, sexuality can be very fluid, and it is not uncommon for your desires and attractions to shift throughout your life.

While labels aren’t often helpful, if you’ve experienced attraction to both women and men, you may be bisexual. What matters the most is that you learn to accept yourself.

If you want to talk through your feelings, contact Switchboard LGBT+ (, 0300 330 0630) for local counselling, support groups, and social networks.

And read my Gay Worries and Bisexual Questions support packs.