I’m happily married but I can’t stop thinking about my college ex

DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I’m a happily married, when I bumped into my college ex in the pub, I realised I have never truly got over her.

She treated me terribly, destroying my self-esteem, yet all my old feelings have resurfaced and I can’t help wondering what might have been.

I’m 43, with a wife and three children. My ex is 42. We were in a relationship for three years from the age of 18 – more than two decades ago.

While we were together, she used to play mind games, and enjoyed
humiliating me.

I put up with it because I was madly in love with her.

The final straw came when she stood me up, leaving me standing outside a shop like a lemon for three hours, laughed, and then told me that I was “a pushover”.

A couple of weeks ago, I ran into her by chance. Since then, we have been messaging, and have met for coffee a couple of times. It’s made me feel so young again.

She’s married with kids, too, and much more mature but still gorgeous.

I can’t stop thinking about her but I don’t want to wreck my marriage.

DEIDRE SAYS: Perhaps you’re bored and crave excitement, or maybe
you’re just feeling nostalgic for your first love.