My husband is so tight with money and it’s ruining our relationship

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband is so tight with money that he makes Scrooge look generous.

I am a 38-year-old mother of two. My husband is 41. I am the main earner and pay the mortgage, buy all the kids’ clothes and pay everything for them.

My husband is a good dad and gets the children to school each day and is there for them in the evenings too.

He is known to be extremely stingy and is always squirrelling money away. His older brother told me it is because they were poor growing up, but nobody else in his family is like this.

I am at my wits end and feel as though I’d be better off alone. 

He does buy some food and thinks this is enough. Am I being unreasonable expecting him to contribute more to the household?

I sometimes feel he is taking me for a mug.

He loses his temper and shouts when I try to talk to him about it. What can I do?

DEIDRE SAYS: It does sound very one-sided. In a quiet moment talk to him and explain how this makes you feel. It is only fair he pays his fair share.

Tell him that your marriage can’t survive like this and together you need to work out a fairer way to share out the family finances. My support pack Family Finances can help do the sums.

If you still love him and are otherwise happy, relationship counselling could help. See Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).