I caught my boyfriend watching homemade blue movies of him and his ex

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAME home from work and caught my boyfriend watching homemade blue movies of him and his ex-girlfriend.

He’s 26 and I’m 24. We’ve only just moved in together and I’m gutted because this isn’t just any ex, it’s somebody who is very much on the scene.

He was away all summer because he’s a holiday rep. I thought it would be a lovely surprise to spend some of my savings and turn up at the resort to celebrate his birthday.

He was shocked to see me. It wasn’t the surprise that I’d hoped for. He bought me a drink and told me to sit and wait for him to finish work.

His so-called ex-girlfriend then came in and went to put her arms around him but he pulled away and nodded over at me.

I know what I saw - there was definitely something between them even though he told me they had finished long ago.

When I confronted him later, he told me she was just being friendly.

When I saw him on his laptop last week, I immediately recognised the apartment as where he’d stayed last summer but he apologised and said the footage was from two years previous.

I love him but is he taking me for a fool?

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DEIDRE SAYS: He needs to do more than apologise. You need to know what’s been going on. Are they over or not? 

If there’s any doubt, say that you’re in a relationship together because you thought you could trust him. 

He should consider your relationship over unless he wipes the film footage from his laptop and makes it clear that she’s history.

Meanwhile, keep busy and see other friends. He’s more likely to see his future with you if you’re enjoying life.

Give him a time limit to convince you that it’s you that he wants but if his focus is not entirely on you, cut your losses and walk.