My daughter can’t stand my new lover – it’s tearing us apart
DEAR DEIDRE: NO matter how hard I try, my stepdaughter and younger girlfriend can’t get along, and it’s driving a wedge between us.
I’m 51, and my stepdaughter is 22.
Her mum died in a car crash seven years ago, and I’ve been her only parental figure since.
I’ve done my best to provide her a stable home and to be the best parent I can possibly be.
Losing my wife hit me really hard, and for years I put off dating.
However, when my stepdaughter moved out for university, I was left feeling lonely.
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So I decided it was time to finally put myself back out there.
I matched with a beautiful younger woman, and from the first date we were besotted with each other.
She’s 34.
But our relationship has caused a lot of friction with my stepdaughter.
She was outraged by our age difference and made it clear how unhappy she was with our relationship.
Now every time they are around each other, she can’t help but make snide remarks, and it’s making my girlfriend uncomfortable.
I’ve tried my best to help them bond, but it’s been impossible.
While I knew seeing me with another woman would be an adjustment, I never expected her to react like this.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Navigating new relationships after loss can be hard.
It’s likely that what’s really getting to her is watching you move on with another woman that is not her mum.
To her, it may feel a little bit like a betrayal of her mother’s memory.
However, you deserve to be happy and find love again.
Try to let your stepdaughter know that she can talk with you about her feelings, even if they are difficult.
Tell her that your new relationship will never replace what you shared with her mum, but you need to move on.
My support pack Coping With Bereavement will help.