My boyfriend acts like a clown and I wish he’d grow up

DEAR DEIDRE: WITHIN two weeks of dating my boyfriend, he’d soaked me in the car wash and pranked me numerous times. I love him but I wish he’d grow up.

He’s 23 and he’s always been a clown. We met at school but got together three months ago.

His car was filthy, so on the way to visit his Mum, we diverted to the car wash.

The moment that the brushes started, he dropped my window and I got drenched. He was hysterical with laughter. He’s so immature.

Recently we were out with some friends when my mate lost her handbag.

He’d taken and hid it under some coats for a laugh. She panicked and burst into tears saying, “Everything is in that bag”. She was fuming when he finally gave it back to her.

Last week we had a family birthday in a pub and as my Nan sat down, my boyfriend operated his toy ‘fart machine’. Lots of people laughed but my Nan and my parents were not amused.

My friends don’t seem to warm to him and my family think he’s a first-class idiot.

Yet he’s kind and loving to me when we are at home. I’m a 25-year-old woman and I do enjoy a laugh but not at others’ expense.

How can I get him to see that we don’t all have that same sense of humour? 

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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s a self-defence mechanism. He lacks social skills and my guess is he’s been put down at home or maybe his siblings were always getting at him.

At school, he may have felt he was overlooked but learned making people laugh is a way of getting positive attention.

Encourage him to develop more confidence by telling him that he is enough without laying on the practical jokes and it’s OK to be part of the crowd rather than centre stage.

My support pack called Raising Self-Esteem will show him how to become more confident.