My husband had sex with a prostitute days before our wedding – I don’t know if I can ever trust him again
DEAR DEIDRE: THE best man at my wedding got so drunk he let slip that my husband has cheated on me three times since we got engaged six months ago.
The last time on his stag weekend with a prostitute, one week before we got hitched.
I feel humiliated and don’t know if I can ever trust him again.
I am 32 and my husband is 35. We were together for three years before we married.
It wasn’t until I started helping his best friend, who had passed out at the reception, that I learned the truth.
His best friend was a mess and so me and one of my girlfriends started to help him up to his bedroom.
That’s when he started going on about how lovely I was and how my husband didn’t deserve me.
He continued to list the three women he’d slept with behind my back.
A one-night stand, a woman from his work and a hooker on his stag weekend.
When I confronted my new husband he apologised once and seemed to think it was dealt with.
Apparently, I didn’t need to worry about the one-night stand, “it didn’t mean a thing”, he was “only comforting his work colleague”, whose boyfriend was dragging his heels over a proposal.
And as for the prostitute “that was a bit of stag fun”.
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At least he has since applied for a new job and blocked all contact with his work colleague. He says he regrets everything.
But I’m struggling with the fact he had sex with three different people, especially so close to our wedding.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not surprising you feel differently about him. You have had the worst start possible to your marriage.
It is possible for some couples to recover from cheating but your new husband doesn’t seem to be taking any real responsibility.
I’m afraid unless he makes a Titanic turn in his attitude, your new marriage is well and truly sunk.
He should be putting in a heavy shift to convince you he is willing to change.
I’m not sure that someone who is so cavalier about their marriage is really capable of change.
Give him another chance, or decide to walk away, either way you both need professional support.
Think about relationship counselling to help you work through your feelings even if that means how to separate.
Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org, 020 7380 1960).
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