My friend says my boyfriend is sleeping with an old woman from his canteen at work

DEAR DEIDRE: A PAL told me that my boyfriend has been sleeping with an old woman from his canteen at work. It’s gross!

I’m a female of 31 and my partner is 32. We have three young children.

I know this person from his office. She’s about 60 and she parades around town dressed like a 20-year-old, wearing very little.

She’s got the figure for it, but she’s a complete flirt with anyone male.

My friend, who works for the same company as my partner, has told me that the rumours about the two of them are rife among colleagues.

He’s been stand-offish lately but I put it down to tiredness as he’s been working long hours.

Our sex life isn’t so good and he doesn’t even want to cuddle me in bed like he used to.

He’s been coming in late from the office and going straight upstairs to shower.

I haven’t spoken to him about any of this because I thought the change in his behaviour was due to his stressful job. Weeks ago, I confided in my friend that I was worried he may be cheating.

At first, she said that I was being ridiculous. Then she phoned me a few days later asking if she could come over.

She said she didn’t know how to tell me but she’d heard one of the assistants had caught my partner passionately kissing this older woman.

I don’t know what to do.

Part of me wants him to stay so that we keep our family together.
But the other part of me is scared to know the truth.

If it’s true, I feel so disgusted with him. Am I that unattractive?

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DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t keep this news to yourself.

While you don’t know that it is true, his behaviour towards you suggests he is distracted.

Find a quiet moment to tell him that you have heard he’s being unfaithful and listen carefully to what he has to say.

If he admits it, then my support pack called Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you to work out where you go from here.

Whatever you decide, you’re going to need some counselling so that you can talk in a safe forum, away from the children.

You can find support through the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (bacp.co.uk, 01455 883 300).