DEAR DEIDRE
I am having sex with my ex and it’s a dark thrill but I still love him
Soon after finishing with me, I discovered that this woman was carrying his baby
DEAR DEIDRE: THE thrill I’m getting from having sex with my ex is intoxicating.
Not only is the action better than ever, I love the feeling of power knowing he can’t resist me.
He cheated on me with his current girlfriend and I was devastated when he finally finished with me.
I am 24 and my ex is 25. We were together for two years.
I caught him out a few times by going to the nightclub he said he was at, only to find he wasn’t there.
Soon after finishing with me, I discovered that this woman was carrying his baby. I was saddened and shocked.
We stopped talking for a while and I was starting to move on when out of the blue he messaged me, asking if he could see me.
I have to admit I was overjoyed to hear from him and was secretly hoping they had finished.
He called me over to his place and when he looked into my eyes, I just surrendered.
We ended up having sex and have been sneaking around on a regular basis.
He always warns me when the other woman is going over to see him — then I have to stay away.
He also insists that I keep quiet when he speaks to her on the phone.
Dear Deidre on relationships, jealousy and envy
It’s humiliating and puts a dampener on my mood.
I feel as though I am his “bit on the side” even though I was with him before her.
My friends tell me to give him up but I still love him.
I would love for our relationship to go back to how it used to be but I don’t think that is going to happen.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: You no doubt felt you were getting back at this woman after she came between you and your ex.
But the reality is that this man is seeing you entirely on his terms.
Take a cold look at how spending time with him leaves you feeling.
Your ex-boyfriend may genuinely care for you, as well as lust after you, but he can’t have it all.
You admit you feel humiliated after each encounter, so ask yourself why you accept this situation when you are worth so much more.
He doesn’t put either of you first in his life.
He is stopping you from getting over him and you are missing out on the chance to meet someone new who could treat you much better.
My support pack, Mend Your Broken Heart, will help you to move on.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the Facebook page or email us at:
Topics