My dreams have been shattered since my lover decided he only wants to be friends

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN my lover told me he loved me, I was over the moon – yet months later he only wants to be friends.

I am 26 and he is 29. I met him 18 months ago at a wedding.

He had just broken up with the mother of his children and said he didn’t want to be in a relationship.

I fully understood and was OK with it.

We began to see each other regularly for nights in the pub and gym workouts and we soon became best friends.

From there, we became friends with benefits.

The sex was the best that I’d ever experienced, it was just so passionate and exciting.

He started to tell me that he loved me and I was so happy, but then suddenly and unexpectedly he told me he didn’t want to be in a relationship.

He said it was because of his children and he just wanted to be friends.

I was gobsmacked and began to cry. I love him so much and for him to say this is destroying me. I saw a future with him and now my dreams are shattered.

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DEIDRE SAYS: He clearly wasn’t ready for a new relationship.

There’s a chance he may change his mind but you could be waiting a long time for something that may never happen.

It’s best to accept what he’s saying before you are hurt even more.

His focus is on his children and what is best for them. He may still have feelings for their mum and might want to try again with her.

For your own sake, don’t put everything on hold. That would be a risky step.

As you have fallen for him, it’s probably not a good idea to remain friends. Tell him he needs to sort himself out and then focus on getting on with your life.

My support pack Mend Your Broken Heart will help.