My mother-in-law is making my life a misery – my husband won’t do anything to help

DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother-in-law is making my life a misery.

Yet my husband won’t do anything to help and always defends her.

It’s spoiling our relationship.

I’m 45 and he’s 47. My mother-in-law is 70.

We’ve been married for 18 years and I’ve tried so hard to put up with her but, if anything, things have become worse.

She’s so mean to me and tries to boss me around in my own home, telling me how I should clean better and cook more varied food, and how my furniture is cheap and unstylish.

I’ve let her stay in my life because of my children, who are now teenagers.

I didn’t want to stop her from having a relationship with them.

But she’s so negative.

She gossips about everyone she knows and never has a nice word to say about anyone.

I know she talks about me behind my back to other members of the family.

My husband spends as little time with her as he can.

If he pops over – she lives nearby – he’s back within 30 minutes.

But when I told him how I feel, he said he loves his mum, and I shouldn’t be rude about her.

We had a huge row.

He said I always attack her.

It now makes me feel that he loves her more than me.

It’s making me question our future together.

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DEIDRE SAYS: A difficult relationship with your mother-in-law is no joke – particularly if your husband takes her side.

He must be torn but he should support you.

The fact he spends so little time with her suggests he isn’t keen on her either.

Maybe he feels guilty about this, so he defends her.

Tell him how unhappy you are and that you feel your marriage is at risk.

Say you no longer want her in your house, unless she can behave.

My support pack Standing Up For Yourself should help you have this conversation.