I cheated recklessly, but when the police arrived I knew I was in over my head
DEAR DEIDRE: MY mind keeps going into overdrive as it looks as if I’ll be charged with sexual assault.
I’m a married man with a seven-month-old baby son. My wife and I were having a rough time in the run-up to the birth.
She had to give up work early and was in hospital for two months before our son was born. I was fed up, visiting her at hospital, night after night.
On the way home one evening, I sat on the bus next to a pretty young woman.
We started chatting and she had an intoxicating smile. She put her number in my phone and I foolishly sent her a message when I got home.
We arranged to meet up in town the following night. She told me she was 18. I’m 29. I kissed her as we left the bar. It was foolish and thankfully my wife interrupted us by calling.
I came to my senses quickly and left making my apologies. Our son was born three weeks later.
I’d connected with the younger woman on Instagram and we exchanged messages, but that was all.
Last November the police arrived at my door. They said that there had been an accusation made against me, by the same person.
Apparently she’s now 16 but was 15 then. I had no idea.
She said I dragged her into an alleyway that night and molested her but I swear, this never happened.
The police have charged me and now I’m waiting to see if the CPS take the case to court.
I had to confess everything to my wife who has now thrown me out. I can’t sleep or eat. I don’t know how best to deal with all of this. I’ve been so stupid.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Even if this teenager had been 18, with an 11 year difference, any involvement with her was questionable.
Still, your priority now is building your case as you didn’t, thank goodness, go further than kissing her.
If you haven’t already gone through all of this with a solicitor, get a timeline together of relevant events. Keep a copy of any texts or messages on your phone.
Reassure your wife you are devastated you betrayed her and you want to be there for her and your son.
Keep in contact with the police and if it looks as if this allegation is going to continue, contactthe False Allegations Support Organisation (, 03335 779 377) for their support.
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