My shopping habit is ruining my mental health

DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN'T stop buying clothes. It is the only way I know to relieve the stress I am under.

Spending money gives me a short-term buzz but afterwards I feel so guilty. I treat myself to designer clothes and the latest trainers.

My mental health is declining as I am getting further into debt and struggling to cover the payments.

I am a 38-year-old married man. My wife is 36. We have been married for ten years and have a two-year-old daughter.

She doesn’t know about the debts and to make matters worse I am facing possible redundancy this year and although I have started to look for other jobs, I am not getting anywhere.

My brother is currently in prison awaiting trial for an aggravated burglary.

I’m so wound up and short with everyone that my relationship is going downhill. 

Even though I really do love my wife and find her very sexy, my libido has completely disappeared.

I don’t know how to resolve this and my biggest fear is that if I don’t do something about it, I will eventually lose her.

I try to stay calm and act like everything is under control but inside everything is churning.

The debt, the possible redundancy, the spending and my brother’s predicament swirl around my head and I sometimes feel it is going to burst with all the stress I am under.

DEIDRE SAYS: Compulsive shopping is often a way to escape negative feelings. As you have discovered, it gives you an adrenaline rush but it is short-lived.  

You have a lot on your plate but please talk to your GP and explain the stress you are under. Don’t struggle alone when help is available.

You must also talk to your wife and tell her what is happening, the debt and your fears for your job and your marriage.