I’m considering cutting ties with my parents after decades of abuse

DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER decades of physical and verbal abuse from my parents, I’m considering cutting ties with them. 

When I told them how I felt, they said they’d write me out of their wills - but I don’t care about their money. 

I’m a 35-year-old man and they are both in their 60s.

When I was a child, they used to beat me and call me vile names, putting me down and telling me how pathetic I was, and that I’d never amount to anything.

I got away from them when I met my lovely late wife. She wouldn’t let them treat me like dirt. 

But after she died, I went off the rails and developed a drink problem.

I’m now sober, and went home to visit, thinking things would be better.

Instead, they treated me exactly as they did when I was a child. 

I told them if they didn't change, they’d never see me again.

They just laughed and said I was the one who’d lose out. 

I’d rather be poor than put up with more abuse. Should I walk away?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Some people don’t deserve to be parents. Yours damage your self-esteem and make you unhappy.

You don’t owe them anything. Walking away would be the healthiest thing to do.

Find support through Stand Alone (), which helps people estranged from family and has local groups.

It might also be helpful to have counselling, both to deal with the abuse you’ve suffered and the loss of your wife. See my Bereavement support pack for more information.