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I’m sick of my my husband constantly pestering me for sex

READ Dear Deidre Editor Sally Land's personal replies to today's problems.
Upset woman sitting on bed, man in background.

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M so sick of being pestered for sex by my husband that I’m starting to consider a divorce.

His sex drive has always been much higher than mine, but now we’ve grown apart too, and I’ve had enough.

I’m 45 and he’s 46. We have two teenage children.

Ever since we met, 20 years ago, he’s wanted sex every day. I thought his desire would wane as he got older, but it hasn’t.

But my libido has never been high, and lately it’s definitely decreased. 

While I used to make myself go through the motions to please him, I don’t want to do that anymore.

It doesn’t help that we have very little in common anymore. I don’t find him funny and he thinks I’m negative about everything.

I do love him but I dread going to bed every day and having to find an excuse not to have sex. Please help. 

MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE

DEIDRE SAYS: After two decades of having sex far more than you wanted to, it’s not surprising you’re fed up.

It also sounds like you’ve grown apart, which will do nothing to increase your desire for him.

Nobody should have sex when they don’t want to, just to please their partner.

You need to talk to him about how you feel and see if you can find a compromise. 

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you have this conversation without making him defensive.

Also read Different Sex Drives together for more advice and tips.

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