I vowed not to let boyfriend walk all over me after cheating – he’s doing it already

DEAR DEIDRE: FOR my New Year’s resolution I decided I would not be walked over any more.

But it is already hanging by a thread after my boyfriend announced he’s going back to Magaluf with “the lads”.

To add insult to injury, that’s the place he had sex with a holiday rep behind my back while I was pregnant with our child last year.

He had told me he was excited about us becoming a family but that didn’t stop him spending every night with this woman and then boasting about it to his friends.

A few months later, cradling my newborn, I noticed a message that popped up on my boyfriend’s mates’ group chat.

It read: “What’s better? Sleepless nights with a baby, or with Magaluf lass?”

Minutes later all hell broke loose as I read through the thread.

I’m 29 and my boyfriend is 30. We’ve been together for five years and have a four-month-old son.

I was so angry I kicked him out for a month and wouldn’t let him see our baby.

He would turn up on our doorstep begging forgiveness and eventually I let him back in.

But I warned him there would be no second chances.

The last few months have been good and I can see my son and boyfriend have a lovely bond.

We’ve started having sex again which felt good. So I couldn’t believe it when I overheard him talking to a friend about going back to Magaluf.

It felt like such a slap in the face.

I feel like a mug and an idiot.

Do I let him go and show him I trust him, even though I don’t?

DEIDRE SAYS: Although you can’t stop him from going, you need to lay out exactly what his plans say.

He let you down at a time when you needed him.

Now he needs to decide if he wants to create a happy family or an unstable one.

He is showing little respect, or consideration for you.

If he cares about you, he should care about your feelings too. In any case, why is he going on a lads’ getaway when he has a partner and a very young child?

Wouldn’t it be better to plan a family holiday instead?

Asking you to bless a lads’ jolly soon after he cheated on you is completely unrealistic. It will take time to rebuild trust and he needs to understand this.

My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over it? might help.