Girlfriend prefers new sex toy to having sex with me

DEAR DEIDRE: I FOUND out my girlfriend bought a sex toy for herself. I have no problem with that except that she is using it more than she wants to do stuff with me.

We have had a few stale patches in our sex life before but this time it has been three months since we last had sex.

At 31, I feel I should still be having an active sex life with plenty more to look forward to. Sometimes she doesn’t even want to cuddle.

I understand we cannot be joined at the hip all the time but I do feel I need some affection from her.

I try to make an effort to make her feel special but it does not work.

For our three-year anniversary and her 26th birthday recently, we agreed to have a night in together.

But then she just wanted to sit on the sofa at home reading.

DEIDRE SAYS:  If the sex toy gives your girlfriend more pleasure than you, it is time to brush up on your technique and discover exactly what she enjoys.

You can always build the sex toy fun into a satisfying sex life together.

Talk to her. Listen to her side of the problem. Tell her you love her and feel you are both missing out.

My e-leaflets on Thrilling A Woman In Bed and Sex Toys And Sense can help. Explore what suits her. If she enjoys sex, she will want more of it.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE It's been over a year since my partner and I last kissed - let alone had sex

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