It’s been over a year since my partner and I last kissed – let alone had sex
Read Deidre's personal replies to today's problems
DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner has lost his sex drive. He has admitted that once he falls in love with someone, he finds it difficult to be passionate.
He is 31 now and I am 28. We have been together for 18 months.
He had lots of short-term girlfriends and one-night stands before we got together but he has calmed down a lot now.
I know he is not cheating but it’s been over a year since we kissed or had sex.
He is committed to me and says we will get over this problem but I feel so unwanted and unattractive.
We get on so well but we have both lost our confidence. I know I nag him almost every day about the lack of passion between us but he just tells me he loves me and pushes me away.
DEIDRE SAYS: All those brief relationships and one-night stands encouraged your partner to be turned on by the excitement of sex with someone new, rather than explore his and his partner’s sexual responses and develop true intimacy.
He may also suffer from a form of sexual guilt that means he sees sexual desire as almost insulting to a partner he loves and respects.
My e-leaflet Reviving A Man’s Sex Drive explains self-help sex therapy.
If the problems lie deep, then arrange to see a sex therapist via the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707).
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