Former sex addict reveals she slept with over 100 Instagram strangers after naughty private messages fuelled her lust
MUCH has been written about the impact of social media on anxiety and self-obsession, but this week it has also been blamed for fuelling sex addiction, too.
Rapper Kanye West, 42, likened apps such as Instagram to “modern-day cigarettes” and claimed posts of beautiful women posing provocatively made “married men suffer”.
Kanye explained: “Because social media prompts women in particular to put out content that they wouldn’t have put out. I deal with my addiction.
"When I was younger and, I wanted to see something like that, I had to pay someone that was older to go to 7/11 and buy it.”
But the dark trappings of social media are not just a problem for men as former sex addict Laurie Jade Woodruff explains to Bella Battle.
Laurie agrees that apps such as Instagram act like a drug and fed her need for no-strings sex. The 30-year-old says: “Instagram is a playground full of temptation.
“At my worst, I was obsessed with the thrill of sleeping with strangers. And social media made it scarily easy to do. Forget going to a bar or bothering with pricey dating apps, Instagram would help me hook up in minutes for free from the comfort of home.”
The Sheffield author has slept with between 100 and 200 people, and at the height of her addiction she had sex with two or three new men a week.
Laurie, who is now a qualified therapist, explains: “Sex was like a quick fix for me. I felt so empty inside and longed for intimacy, connection, closeness.
“So I would dress up in provocative gear, even though I didn’t really enjoy posing in it, and post the photos online. Within minutes, I’d be getting compliments and naughty private messages from men I’d never met.
“Instagram made it so easy to attract attention. But it took me years to realise how damaging that kind of attention — based purely on my looks — could be.”
Since Instagram burst on to the scene in 2010, millions of users have posted racy snaps in order to grab more likes and followers. Many have turned it into a lucrative career, but for others like Laurie it simply fuelled her sex addiction.
Laurie says: “Guys would message me all the time. Some were subtle, saying they liked my photos and would love to take me out but others were more forthright, detailing all the things they’d like to do to me.
“In my heart, I longed for a real relationship. But if a guy was hot all I could think about was getting him naked. I would look through the photos on a man’s feed, and if he was fit I’d meet him. I’m quite tall so I like tall, muscle men and guys with plenty of beefy, workout shots were top of my list.
“The sex was so exciting. It was the buzz of making out with a stranger that had me hooked. It was my ultimate fantasy. But I felt powerless to control my desire — I just couldn’t get enough so I needed new men all the time.
"Sometimes I’d see a guy again if there was a real connection but most of them were one-night stands. Part of my addiction was about running in the other direction from anything like commitment.”
Laurie’s obsession had a darker side, too, as she rarely paid any attention to her own safety. She admits: “It terrifies me now but I didn’t really vet anyone, and sometimes I would go back to a bloke’s place without having a clue who he was.Anything could have happened. I still can’t quite believe I did that.”
Thankfully, Laurie managed to stay safe, although one frightening tryst prompted her to seek help for her addiction.
She says: “It was a Friday night and I was excited to meet a new guy I’d been chatting to on Instagram.
“He told me I was beautiful and seemed really nice. But then we got into bed and he changed in a heartbeat. He was too rough with me and I was genuinely frightened.
"I kept thinking, ‘How could you let yourself get here?’ When the sex was over, I was out of there like a shot. It felt like the wake-up call I needed.
“It was empty desperation. One minute I was having a blast and the next it was taking over my life.”
Laurie, who has two-year-old son Henry with her ex-boyfriend Ian, went on the Sex And Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) website and took a self-diagnosis quiz.
She signed up to their 12-step programme the same day and started attending meetings with other addicts.
When she began the programme, two weeks was the longest Laurie had ever gone without sex.
But with support from her fellow addicts, many of whom shared her background of dysfunctional relationships, she has stayed celibate for six months.
Part of the 12 steps involves identifying an addict’s “bottom lines” - the behaviours that feed their addiction.
For Laurie it was simple — she was banned from posting any more sexy photos on Instagram.
She says: “There is a part of me that will always be addicted. But I’ve recently started a new relationship and things are going really well.”
- Diary Of A Sex Addict, by Laurie Jade Woodruff (£9.99, Vixen Books) is out now.
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