My mum and I got married together — and we even shared our honeymoon too
A WEDDING is the perfect chance for a woman to be the centre of attention for the day – dazzling guests in her white gown.
But what happens if you decide to share it with your MUM, in a double ceremony your guests were not expecting, then head off on a joint honeymoon? That is what 35-year-old Aisling Cislikauskiene and Trisha Duffy, 53, chose to do.
Aisling, a hairdresser, and Trisha, a carer, are more like best friends than mother and daughter and their bond was strengthened further by their joint wedding on Valentine’s Day last month. In front of 160 guests at Castletroy Park Hotel in Limerick, Trisha tied the knot with Joe Fitzgerald, 71, and Aisling married Marius, 38.
Trisha says: “When Mum first suggested a joint wedding, I thought she was joking. Marius and I told her not to be silly and said we wouldn’t want to gatecrash their big day.
“But the more we spoke about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. We get on so well as a foursome and are always going out for dinner and spending weekends together. We ended up thinking, ‘Why not?’
“We knew we could both save a lot of money by having one big wedding and it would be easier for all of our guests coming to one event — rather than two. It was the best day ever and it felt so special to share it with my mum.
Aisling and construction worker Marius met in a nightclub in Limerick in 2012 and now have two children, Amelia, four, and Isabelle, three. Both already have children from a previous relationship, with Aisling also mum to Kellie, 15, and Keelan, nine, while Marius has another daughter, Gabrielle, 15.
In March 2016, while Aisling was out for a meal with her mum and six sisters, Marius turned up and surprised her by getting down on one knee.
Aisling says: “Although I was mortified when Marius proposed in front of everyone, I was soon very emotional. He melts my heart as he is very romantic.”
In June the following year, a friend introduced Trisha to Joe, a retired factory worker. Aisling says: “We all took to Joe straight away — he’s very good to the whole family, as well as my mum.”
Joe popped the question in January 2019 while they were on holiday in Amsterdam. That October, while the four were out having a meal, Trisha suggested the joint ceremony.
She had already booked and planned most of her wedding with Aisling by her side, approving all of the finer details, such as guests, flower arrangements and the venue. So to Trisha it was a no-brainer to share the day.
Trisha says: “Aisling has been there with me since day one — from the surprise engagement in Amsterdam to the amazing hen do she gave me, and all the planning for my special day. I loved the idea of them sharing our wedding. It was going to make an exciting day even better.”
Trisha, who is also mum to Louise, 33, Joanne, 31, Mary, 26, Nicki, 24, Laura, also 24, and Jamie, 16, added: “I would do anything for my children — they are my world.”
But at first, Aisling and Marius were not sure. Aisling explains: “We didn’t want to ruin their big day. They had spent so much time planning it and making it perfect. We didn’t want to jump in and change any of that.”
“But we went home from the meal and thought about it and it started to really make sense. We called my mum the following morning and said, ‘Let’s go for it’.” So just four months before the big day, the couples found themselves planning a joint bash.
Aisling says: “A lot was already planned, so I just had to find my perfect dress. One day, Mum and I were out picking up her dress and we had a spare half hour. We joked that I should try a dress on. It just so happened that the first dress I tried on was my perfect gown.
“Mum bought the dress for me. We were so happy. We walked home together holding our dresses. What’s even more amazing is the fact that when I visited my psychic medium, Elaine Maher, in 2019, she told me there was going to be a double wedding. Little did I know that it would be my shared wedding with Mum.”
However, the two couples decided to keep the double celebration a surprise, instead telling guests it was just Trisha and Joe’s big day. The mum and daughter share most of the same friends too, meaning the guest list remained similar.
Trisha says: “We told only the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and Marius’ parents as they had to fly across from Lithuania. But nobody else knew what was going on. I had Aisling’s dress, shoes and jewellery in my house, and even though I slipped up a few times, no one ever noticed.”
On the day, Trisha walked down the aisle towards Joe. Then once they had been married, Aisling, who had been hiding in a separate room, walked down to meet Marius for her big moment. Guests were stunned, but delighted, and Aisling and Trisha describe the day as “absolutely perfect”.
Aisling says: “Mum and Joe went in first, and when they had finished they asked everyone to stay, as she had a surprise. And then in I walked. Nobody had suspected a thing. They were all shocked, but so thrilled for us. What could have been a very stressful occasion was easy and thoroughly enjoyed by everybody who was there.
“Any pre-wedding nerves that were there melted away as I followed my mum up the aisle. Having her by my side was so poignant. My mum has always been there for me.”
A week after the wedding, the four headed off on a joint honeymoon, a week-long cruise around the Spanish Islands.
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Aisling says: “We all got on so well on honeymoon. I can’t wait for the future. I keep thinking about all the anniversaries to come and get so excited. I’m so glad that as well as having an amazing husband, I’ve also become even closer to my mum. I didn’t know that was possible.”
Marius said: “In my speech, it was so hard to put into words the appreciation, not only for Aisling, but for Joe and Trisha as well. I had been waiting for that day since I met Aisling, and it was so special.”
Joe said: “It was a very emotional day. When Aisling appeared and walked down the aisle, I thought people were never going to stop clapping. Everybody was so happy.”
- Pictures by John Hickey Photography, Limerick.
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