Superheroes don’t suffer in silence — Dr Zoe reveals the bravest thing to do is see your GP when something isn’t right
NO doubt about it, men are often guilty of burying their heads in the sand when it comes to their health. A generalisation, I know, but it is a big issue and one I see all the time in clinics.
The scenario tends to go like this. A man comes in, looking sheepish, sits down and immediately apologises, telling me: “I’m only here because my wife made me come.”
Straight away, it tells me three things:
- He doesn’t want to be there
- He is embarrassed about being there
- It has taken someone else to get him there
A few things hold men back. First, talking about our health is a skill, one women can take for granted.
We practise it much more, talking to friends and colleagues about how we feel. It’s part of normal life so we don’t feel awkward doing it with a doctor.
Few men have those intimate conversations with friends, so it is harder opening up to a stranger.
Next is the superhero complex. Men are brought up to believe they should be strong, unbreakable.
If we let this idea continue – that a strong man doesn’t need help – we make it much harder for men to show their vulnerable side.
In recent years we have seen massive steps in the right direction over mental health. Charities and celebrities speaking out have helped reinforce the message that it is OK not to be OK.
The same is true with physical health. Fear holds us back. Fear of having those niggling suspicions confirmed. Of hearing scary words like “cancer” or “heart disease”.
Yet most conditions, if caught early, don’t have to be scary. The earlier you are diagnosed with cancer, the better your chances, without the need for invasive, long-term treatment.
SELF-RESPECT AND COURAGE
As GPs, there are things we can do to support men. We are accommodating, where possible of female patient’s requests to see a female doctor, especially when it comes to intimate issues.
Perhaps a man in his fifties might find it harder to talk about his health with a young female doctor.
If we accept women tend to feel more comfortable around female GPs, we should give the same thought to men booking appointments.
Wives, girlfriends and partners can help too. Often it can be enough to say something like, “Please go to the doctor – for me, I’m worried.”
But another way to deal with it is to simply book an appointment, tell him the time and date then ask him if he needs you to cancel it.
This direct approach removes all the drama from the situation – and it means he won’t have to think about it until the day.
In some cases, and only if your partner feels comfortable, it can help to have a shared consultation, in which you go along too. A supportive partner can help some men open up.
As mums, sisters and daughters, we can help by normalising conversations about health. There shouldn’t be any stigma or embarrassment.
Discussing health issues around the dinner table can start to make it normal at home.
These chats shouldn’t be a big deal. And the sooner we have them in front of our young sons, the more likely it is they will grow up to become men who don’t delay seeing their GP.
I understand that men want to feel like superheroes and not show vulnerability. But there is nothing heroic about ignoring your health.
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The bravest thing you can do is own it and rock up to see your GP when something isn’t right. It shows self-respect and courage.
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Acting early could stop you suffering a heart attack or prevent cancer developing. Which could stop you getting ill and preserve that superhero status.
Superheroes are role models. So what better example than bravely looking after your health?
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