How kind kids have befriended lonely old people and kept their ‘best friends’ smiling during lockdown

LIKE many girls her age, 11-year-old Libby Bennett looks forward to her twice weekly catch-up with her friend, Mary Steel.

But this is no ordinary friendship – Mary is 82 and a resident in a local sheltered housing scheme in Brynmawr, Wales.

Libby is one of hundreds of children up and down the country who have struck up a special connection with an elderly neighbour or care home resident.

The contact benefits both young and old and is known to alleviate loneliness and depression in the elderly, which has seen a huge increase since the Coronavirus pandemic began.

A new Sun poll found one in five people who live alone will spend Christmas on their own, while nearly 60 per cent said they had felt more lonely during the pandemic.

It’s why we launched our Christmas Together campaign, to make sure no one is left out in the cold over the festive period.

“I have struggled through lockdown with no one able to come into my flat and shopping dropped to my door,” Mary told The Sun.

“I love people and not being able to see anyone was awful. It was so quiet.

“Calls from Libby have boosted my spirits. I look forward to her phone calls and really enjoy our chats.”

Bonding over Snakes and Ladders

Libby, from Brynmawr in Wales, first met Mary through the intergenerational choir scheme set up by her school, St. Mary’s CIW Primary, in 2018.

Every Tuesday the choir, led by conductor Sarah Lewis, joined forces with neighbouring Wesley House, a sheltered housing community run by United Welsh, to boost the spirits of the elderly residents with a singalong.

The pupils also formed a friendship club, adding a second weekly visit to spend time with individual residents.

“I was singing in the choir and I saw this lady who looked like she was alone, and struggling with lyrics,” says Libby.

“So I went over and began to talk to her, asking her what her name was and about her life, and it all ran from there.”

The pair formed a special bond over long chats and board games.

“I think my visits cheer her up and I always see a smile on her face,” says Libby.

“But I really enjoy it as well. Mary asks me about school and about my friends and we love playing snakes and ladders.”

Sadly, when the country went into lockdown in March, Libby’s visits stopped and Mary was unable to leave her flat even to mix with other residents.

But Libby has been ringing her every Tuesday and Thursday, sometimes talking for 45 minutes.

Mum Rhian has also taken her to see Mary in the garden, when weather and restrictions permit.

“We stood outside and brought gifts and cakes,” says Libby.

“Seeing all the residents come out of their flats and talking to each other and to us, and smiling, makes me really happy.”

Since the summer, the whole school has also been sending ‘happiness packages’ to the residents, with cards and gifts, and pupils recorded a video, saying how much they missed their friends in Wesley House.

St Mary's CIW Primary School

For the residents of Wesley House, the choir and friendship group has been a huge comfort.

“When I first came to choir I was really looking forward to doing something new and felt really excited,” says Mary.

“Libby came over to talk to me at the first session and we gelled from day one.

“I looked forward to seeing all the children but I loved that Libby would come running towards me. If I was having a bit of a down day, it would lift me to the sky.”

Calls from Libby have boosted my spirit. I miss her and all the children so much.

Mary Steele

Dr Ali Somers, who co-founded Apples and Honey Nightingale – the UK’s first nursery to be run in the grounds of a care home – with Judith Ish-Horowicz MBE, believes the pairing of the elderly with children has far-reaching benefits.

“When older people with depression, loneliness, underlying illness or dementia are working with children, they momentarily forget what’s wrong with them,” she says.

Dr Ali says chats and board games are the perfect way to alleviate loneliness in the elderly – as well as boosting the confidence of the kids.

“Playing a game gives older people something to focus on and react to, and a cognitive stimulation that they’re not getting elsewhere” she says.

“As we get older, we tend to slow down so a game like snakes and ladders with a child means a slower pace, so it’s less frustrating. Plus they feel that they’re giving something back to the children.

“Children also benefit enormously from the attention and encouragement that older people give them.”

Lonelier in lockdown

Widower Brin Withers, now 95, was initially reluctant to join in but, after being persuaded to try out his singing voice, he’s a choir convert.

“I thought there would be children running everywhere and it would be too noisy, but the team twisted my arm,” says Brin.

“But I loved it. Straight away, I had all the kids around me, and after having seven children of my own, I did miss having children around.

“It brightens me up. It made me feel like a youngster again too!”

But 10-year-old Eve Lewis holds a special place in his heart, after visiting him regularly for two years.

“I saw him on his own and I ran over to speak to him,” says Eve. “We started talking and became friends.”

Brin looks forward to the twice-weekly visits and always saves a seat for Eve.

“We do crafts and we talk about all sorts of things,” says Eve. “Or we play drafts, his favourite game, and I think he lets me win!”

During lockdown, Eve has been to Wesley House to wave at Brin through the window, as well as sending a homemade word search with words that are special to both, including ‘drafts’ and ‘friendship’.

Brin tells Eve how he loves hearing the sound of her voice so, for Christmas, she bought him a special card which records a message – so he can hear her speaking whenever he chooses.

Lockdown has ruined me, not being able to see my family, and I can’t hear very well on the phone so sometimes it has felt really lonely.

Brin Withers

“Lockdown has ruined me, not being able to see my family, and I can’t hear very well on the phone so sometimes it has felt really lonely,” says Brin.

“I will never be able to tell Eve how much I appreciate everything she has done for me.

“She’s been the bestest friend I have ever had.”

‘What’s 90 years between friends’

It was at the regular Baby and Toddler group at Apples and Honey Nightingale, which opened in 2017, that Fay Garcia, now 93, first held baby Alexander in her arms.

As he grew to be a toddler, they would meet in the cafe at the home, Nightingale House, and the family sent postcards from his holidays.

After lockdown, Alexander’s parents Clare and Saul kept in touch via email, and sent her photos and cards from their son.

“It’s one of my biggest pleasures here, in the home, getting to know the children,” says Fay.

“It is an absolute joy and I feel as though they are part of my family.”

Throughout lockdown, Alexander and Fay continue to laugh together and wave through a glass partition that separates the residents’ lounge from a garden room, where children are brought to play every day.

“It’s wonderful,” says Fay. “They are three to four years old and they’re so cute. 

“We see them in the garden and they shout out ‘hello Fay’ as if we’re real buddies. 

“There’s only a 90 year age difference but what’s 90 years between friends?” 

Gerry Morris, 89, and three-year-old Maeve have formed a special bond since she joined the nursery and even Covid and a glass barrier have not come between them.

Maeve recently made a special card for Gerry, drawing her mum, dad and her three sisters and proudly presented it to him. His face lit up.

With tears in his eyes, he told Judith: “This is what keeps me going. It makes everything worthwhile!”