We had sex every day during lockdown — sexting and porn kept us frisky but in the end it was knackering
DURING the first lockdown sex cooled between Spike Van Der Merwe and Lisa Antonelli, which made for some heated arguments.
Make-up artist Lisa, 24, says: “There was a lot of tension between us.
“With the restrictions making it hard to have any alone time, our anxiety levels were high and it made us more irritable, which resulted in less sex as well.”
A study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine said that those who continued to have sex during lockdown were less anxious, less depressed and in happier relationships than those who didn’t.
When the second lockdown started, Lisa and Spike, 32, who works in hospitality, decided to put the theory to the test – by trying to have sex every day throughout the four-week period.
The couple from Tooting, South London, reveal extracts from their lockdown sex diary to Yasmin Harisha.
Day 3: We’ve been at it like rabbits
LISA says: It’s the first week into our second lockdown and tensions are already rising from being cooped up together, but we are both really eager to give this experiment a go.
We stocked up with lockdown supplies – and no, I don’t mean loo roll. We’re being playful with each other, and we’re focusing more on foreplay.
When we’ve disagreed, we’ve had sex. For these few days, we’ve been at it like rabbits. We’re often slinging our gear on to the floor and jumping straight into bed.
During the first lockdown, morning sex was unheard of, but now we’re squeezing that in too.
We really want to take our relationship to the next level, so we have asked each other about our fantasies too.
Day 6: 20-minute thrills twice a day
SPIKE says: Lisa’s stressed with work right now and it’s making her more anxious, which can lead to arguing between us.
But this week she’s been dealing with her stress in the bedroom. Lisa’s been telling me exactly what she wants. I love her new direct and blunt coping mechanism.
We have been having 20-minute thrills at least twice a day.
I’ve been sending her cheeky messages throughout the day too. It has kept things lighthearted between us, all while experiencing our different fantasies.
We’ve tried things we have never tried before. It’s been a great adrenaline rush for us.
Day 9: I hate to say it but I’m fed up
LISA says: I felt hormonal this week. I complained to him about housework and the dark and cold weather made me a bit miserable – and we both had to get Covid tests.
I hate to say it but I’m a bit fed up of the daily sex. I convinced myself that the quick manual session from earlier in the afternoon could count today.
There has been less texting between us, which I hate as the sexting really helps me get in the mood. Maybe the thrill is going again? I looked online and bought some sexy lingerie to attempt to spice things up.
Something needs to get us out of this rut. At the moment we are so distracted by our phones – scrolling and messaging friends, that sex is the last thing on our minds.
Day 13: Lisa began unbuttoning jeans
SPIKE says: I could feel things getting a bit frosty between us and Lisa said to me about bringing the fire back.
And she did it, quite literally.
As we were brushing our teeth getting ready for bed, Lisa began unbuttoning my jeans, while whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
We’d barely finished rinsing our mouths, before I carried her into the bedroom. We were on a high.
It was Lisa’s time of the month so we experimented with some toys and different kinds of foreplay instead of full-on sex. I had no complaints at all.
The following day, we both felt relieved.
Day 18: I put porn on: That got his attention
LISA says: It frustrates me when Spike doesn’t keep in contact on the phone while out at work, and he did this a few times this week.
We’ve argued and ended up having a night off, intentionally. It’s difficult to get into the groove when you are in a bad mood.
The next day, I knew we had to get back on the right path. I said something about showering together, and I saw his eyes light up.
It was soothing, with our bodies close to each other and we ended up doing the deed. It felt good to be close again.
On another night, I decided to liven things up by putting porn on – that got his attention.
We ended up having sex with it playing in the background, it was really hypnotic.
Day 22: Before we got to it, I fell asleep
SPIKE says: We’ve been working out together lately and have found it great to let off some steam. It’s brought out our competitive sides too.
I suppose the past month has brought us closer, where we can let silly little squabbles slide.
We have been continuing our regular sex nights, but they have calmed down a lot.
Now it is more relaxed and slow, with our bodies close to each other.
Lisa did dress up for me as well, teasing me after I got back from work.
But before we got to the main action I had fallen asleep and woke up at 4am. Whoops!
Day 28: We wake up extra early
LISA says: Spike’s body needed a break, but after this month, we know how important it is to keep the flirting up.
So instead of waiting until the evening to have some fun, we have been waking up a littler earlier – it means less foreplay and just getting right into the action instead.
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It’s nice because throughout the day you just keep having flashbacks of the morning.
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However, now lockdown is coming to an end I realise we need to take advantage of the time we have together.
He’s soon going to be going away for work, but Spike seems more interested in fishing and cooking videos on YouTube.
Verdict: We feel more connected
LISA says: “Covid and lockdown has made me feel lost.
“You never know whether you’re coming or going and for someone who likes routine, my anxiety levels are through the roof.
“Being with Spike and actually planning on having sex each day has definitely helped our relationship, and eased any physical and mental tension.
“After sex, the arguments didn’t seem so important.
“We are more connected, and it feels like we have reached another level of our relationship.”
Spike says: “I initially thought it would feel slightly awkward trying to plan sex daily but it’s definitely made us talk about what’s on our minds.
“It’s allowed us to be very honest with how we feel from an emotional and physical viewpoint, which is good.
“Even though it is very tiring to keep up – we might not continue to do it every single day – we will certainly not be going without in future.”
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