Is YOUR Christmas common? From gonks to tinsel, Santa & door bows, etiquette guru reveals tacky things to avoid

IT’S the season to be jolly - jolly tacky that is. 

From tinsel (eurgh, no) to common-as-muck door bows, etiquette expert William Hanson has shared his views on what makes a house classy this Christmas - and he hasn’t held back.  

Gonks are out but thank you letters are in. 

Meanwhile, Christmas dinner allows for three (but no more) types of veggies and gravy boats are de rigueur. 

And don’t get him started on Winter Wonderland...

Overshare on social media to your peril 

If you are able to afford to spend over £100 on your children then, as your own money, it is your choice and no one should judge.  

What is tacky is to let others know that you have a bigger budget than most.  

Be careful about posting images of hundreds of presents on social media.  

Do not show off in any way and make sure your children know how lucky they are and don’t take it for granted.

Forget to say thank you - and show you’re common

With any presents children receive it’s important they appreciate the value and worth of them, again not taking it all for granted.  Making children write a prompt thank you letter to each gift-giver is a must.  As my parents used to say, if people don’t know how grateful you are they’ll stop giving you a present.

Shop ‘til you drop (dead from tackiness)

It’s not only common but a bit tragic.  Christmas is meant to be about spending time with family and friends, not seeing how many mega deals one can get in the shops with just one day in between.  Perhaps time to reassess what really matters? 

Winter Wonderland - hardly a wonderland 

It’s one great big over-hyped tack fest but one that has that rare quality of appealing to many different walks of life, so it manages to get away with it.  Somehow.  Until they are through the gates and then everyone realises they were better off staying at home rather than freezing to death, eating a tepid hot dog in a field. 

Overcrowd your plate? Less is more. And PLEASE remember how to pour the gravy

The plate should not be overcrowded with food. 

As always, less is more.  Meat, three types of vegetables and a potato is enough (usually for a roast lunch it’s two types of vegetables and a potato but it’s Christmas so one allows for one more).  

Gravy (thin gravy is smarter than the thick stuff) should be ladled from a gravy boat and never poured. 

Santa Stop Here (no thanks!)

As I have written at great length before, he’s called Father Christmas in the UK and not Santa. 

Beyond that particular point of pedantry, placing demanding signs ‘out front’ with not even a ‘please’ tagged on the end is not a good way to raise children and is decidedly vulgar.

Should you insist on having such a waymark then it must read words to the effect of, ‘Father Christmas, if you wouldn’t mind visiting our house at some point this evening, please. Thank you.’ 

Christmas signage - the festive equivalent to ‘Live, Laugh, Love’

More miserable monikers seen in December are the festive version of ‘Live Laugh Love’ signs.  Also best avoided.  

Placards reminding us to ‘believe in the magic of Christmas’ and that ‘the greatest gift is laughter and good friends’ induce nothing but yuletide anger in those with sense and taste.

Father Christmas figurines and gonks.. gonk off

Can I say the words ‘garden centre’?  

Mini statues of Father Christmas and their gonk counterparts are creepy and give visitors the feeling they're being watched.

Candle bridges - a bridge too far

These always seem to be done with fake candles, which cements their awfulness.  They are twee and add nothing to any room.

Fairies - pure fantasy

You may think a be-winged fairy looks beautiful atop a lit tree but it's simply not the done thing in discerning households. 

A fairy did not lead the Three Wise Men to Bethlehem in the traditional Christmas story, did it?

It was a star, not a fairy.  Fairies have no place at Christmas: they are outcasts. 

Door bows - oh no!

The age of Instagram has meant that lots of less desirables have tarted up their entrances with naff door bows and garlands.

Covering your PVC door in some enormous, shiny taffeta bow is not going to make the door look any better. 

You’ve heard about rolling the proverbial in glitter?  

Tinsel hell

The precursor to door-bows, but still ever-present, is tinsel.  It remains the antichrist of all decorations.

Even though some trees - even royal trees in the 1980s - have been seen to have a touch of tinsel from time to time, in the modern-day, no tree, bannister or archway should be bedecked with this, the most common of Christmas accessories. 

It never looks good, is horrid to touch and is a waste of money.

Previously, William revealed it is tacky to put your Christmas decs up early – the correct date is far later than you think.

We shared how you are ‘common’ if you have matching Christmas PJs & a faux wreath, etiquette expert claims – how to get it ‘right’.