Dating apps killed casual sex, it was so much easier when you could meet men in the supermarket, says SATC creator
AND just like that . . . Carrie Bradshaw has lost her “Mr Big” for ever.
While fans are furious that the protagonist’s on-off love interest was killed off in the new spin-off series, Sex And The City writer Candace Bushnell says having a “Mr Big” is not important today.
It is now about being your own success story, she reckons.
The original TV series hit screens in 1998 and was based on former sex columnist Candace’s book of the same name. But just as Carrie’s views have evolved since the Nineties, so have the author’s.
“Today, it’s about becoming your own Mr Big, as opposed to looking for Mr Big,” she says. “It’s about becoming a well-rounded person. And making your own money.
“It’s about looking after yourself. It’s about taking responsibility for yourself.”
And Just Like That sees Carrie, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, navigate single life after her husband John Preston has a heart attack.
But Candace, 63, who divorced in her fifties, says being unattached is nothing like it was during the Nineties and Noughties when the show was in its heyday.
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Back then Carrie, known for her wardrobe of Manolo Blahnik shoes, was in constant pursuit of love. But today, women are more independent.
She says: “There are plenty of women who want to be taken care of. But that happens less and less now. It’s about being responsible for your own life. It’s about buying your own shoes.”
In the trailer for the new show, Carrie asks a friend about dating apps. But Candace, who signed up to Tinder after the breakdown of her ten-year marriage to ballet dancer Charles Askegard in 2012, says internet dating has made it more difficult to get laid.
She says: “Before dating apps it was so much easier, right? To not only find a date, but to find sex.
“Human beings are really, really good at finding relationships, we’ve been doing it for millions of years. Then along comes the dating app.
“Now, so many people feel like that’s the only way you can meet people.
“And I hear the romance of dating where you can meet somebody in a supermarket, on the subway or in the park has gone.
“You can’t go up to somebody and start talking to them. Whereas in the past, you could walk up to somebody in New York, and talk.”
In the trailer for the new HBO series, Miranda tells new character Professor Nya Wallace, played by Karen Pittman, she believes women can have it all, saying: “You can, it’s just really hard.”
DATING APP
But Candace, who does not have children, believes women should focus on one goal. She says: “My feeling is just have one thing.
"Maybe if my circumstances were different and I was super-successful when I was young, maybe I would have kids. But I don’t understand this huge desire to have children.
“I think a lot of women get flushed out of a big career because they spend so much time taking care of their kids.
“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with not having children. And I think we should be celebrating women being able to make that choice and saying, ‘You know what, I want to be super successful. I want to be CEO, I want to change the world — and I’m not going to have children’.”
Candace continues: “I never wanted kids, even when I was a kid. And in fact, I know many women who don’t have children, not one of them regrets it.
"They’re like me, they’re grateful they did not have to be forced into a lifestyle, a life that isn’t right for them. Let’s face it, at one point women had to have children to survive. Those days are gone. In the future fewer women, given the choice, will have children.”
While Candace is not involved in the new series, she is appearing in one-woman show Is There Still Sex In The City? at the Daryl Roth Theatre in New York until February 6.
She says: “It’s my life story combined with Sex And The City. It’s the origin story of Carrie Bradshaw. People say they are moved.”
These days, the writer doesn’t place high value on romance.
She says: “I’m not looking for love, I’m just living my life. If somebody comes along, great, if they don’t, no problem.
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“It’s one of the messages in my new show. You can’t rely on a relationship for your happiness — or a roof over your head.”
- For more info on Candace’s theatre show see
