I worked at a bridal salon – the mistakes brides make when shopping and why you shouldn’t bring too many people with you
IN MOST cases, "here comes the bride" are happy words – unless you're a bridal consultant bracing to speak with an upset customer.
When brides become frustrated with the dress shopping process, it's often a result of common mistakes made during their appointments, says one expert.
Hayley Segar worked as a bridal consultant for seven years before striking out on her own as a designer.
Writing about her experience for Insider, she with Insider.com the seven biggest mistakes brides make during or right after their wedding dress shopping trips.
BRINGING TOO MANY GUESTS
Between excited siblings, enthusiastic friends, and eager moms on both sides of the family, it can be easy to invite one or two handfuls of guests along when you start dress shopping.
Some brides bring their entire bridal parties, making shopping an event similar to a shower or bachelorette, but a big crowd can make decision-making difficult, Segar said.
"Though some brides thrive off the energy of their group, others may find it tough to single out their thoughts and opinions from the rest of their party," she wrote.
"This can make for a frustrating, overwhelming experience."
Choosing a few close loved ones to come along will lead to less overwhelm, which usually means more fun, too.
NON-STOP SHOPPING
Even after saying "yes" to the dress, some brides just keep shopping, in case another incredible dress or great deal is around the corner.
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"It's not uncommon to think that there may be an ensemble that's more perfect than the one you bought," Segar explained.
That fear of missing out is only emphasized by targeted ads, aspirational Pinterest posts, and every newly-married friend's post to Instagram.
If you love the gown you purchased but can't stop shopping, remember everything you love about your dress.
"Honor the choice you made," Segar advised.
"There will always be gorgeous gowns, but only one is your wedding dress."
SAYING 'YES' TOO FAST
Of course, some brides keep shopping because they worry they committed to a dress too soon.
Buying a dress too quickly is another common bridal mistake, Segar said.
She detailed a frequent scenario that causes some brides stress: "You visited one or two stores, said yes to a dress, and signed the purchase agreement for a gown that you loved at that moment.
"If you've done what seems like minimal shopping, it's valid to feel like you may have committed too early," Segar said.
If you truly dislike your dress, it's okay to keep an eye out for something new. However, to learn to love your dress again, the same advice for over-shoppers applies.
"The fact that you loved your dress so much when you bought it is a feeling you should go back to when this thought pops in your head," Segar said.
GETTING STUCK ON DETAILS
A scoop neck. Illusion sleeves. Corset backs and asymmetrical hems.
Those tiny features can make or break your dress, but if you get wrapped up in them, they can ruin the shopping experience.
"While zooming in on a certain feature of the gown — whether it be a mesh V-neck, the color of the lace, or the presence or absence of sleeves — you fixate on it," Segar said.
The fixation, she writes, can make you question the entire purchase.
If you find yourself staying up late looking at your phone's camera roll, obsessing over a beaded train, ask your bridal consultant to intervene.
"The best remedy is usually calling the store and asking to try the dress on again to determine whether the scope of the 'flawed' features was inflated," Segar explained.
"Wedding gowns aren't something we purchase every day," she continued. Focusing too much on those small details is totally normal, but it's preventable, too.
FOLLOWING A RIGID CHECKLIST
If you've been sketching your dream dress since kindergarten, you may walk into a bridal salon clutching a well-worn checklist of must-haves.
That rigidity, however, can make a happy experience feel awkward and stunted, and set you up for major disappointment.
"It can be tempting to approach it by looking for a gown that fits a mental checklist instead of focusing on finding something to wear that will make them happy on their big day," Segar said.
"If you know you have the inclination to do this, remember to lean into the fun nature of this process and purchase."
PANICKING ABOUT BUDGET
No matter how closely you follow a budget, it's normal to have "fraught emotions" over your wedding dress purchase.
"For most people, a wedding gown is the biggest garment purchase they've made to date," Segar explained.
Even when you love your dress, sticker shock can reverberate after you leave the store and leave you reeling.
"The entire wedding-planning process is filled with large-magnitude deposits, so it's normal to break a sweat over this," Segar reassured.
If you worry you've gone over budget, take a look at your spending plan and decide to cut back on things that seem less important, or make swaps for more financially-friendly options.
DRESSING TO IMPRESS OTHERS
Weddings bring a lot of emotions to the surface, not just for the bride, but also for family and friends.
That translates to heavy expectations, too – and brides can become frustrated by unsolicited or unsatisfactory opinions from well-meaning loved ones.
"The pressure to indulge these opinions can be weighty, especially when they come from such important people in your life," Segar said.
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It's important to hold strong and "wear what brings you joy," she wrote, if only for the sake of your photos.
"The difference between seeing someone in something they felt forced or pressured to get versus seeing a bride wearing a gown that truly makes them happy is incredibly palpable," Segar said.
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