I battled Leukemia while pregnant – now every time I look at my cheeky four-year-old, I can’t feel anything but lucky
SITTING on the hospital bed, I smiled as a doctor walked over. But he looked devastated as our eyes met.
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said. ‘You have cancer.’
I froze. I couldn’t have cancer, I was almost six months pregnant.
Josh and I met on a night out when I was 20. We married in September 2015, and when I fell pregnant 18 months later, we were overjoyed.
The only thing dampening my excitement was how awful I felt with all-day sickness, lethargy, even breathlessness.
However, the midwife assured me I’d feel better soon.
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Yet as I approached my third trimester in June 2017, I felt worse.
None of my routine tests had picked up anything, so the midwife suggested I see my GP.
The GP frowned as he took my pulse – it was shockingly high.
Worried I had pneumonia, he sent me to the local hospital’s respiratory ward. I wasn’t too concerned, though.
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Even at the ultrasound, when they said they could see a mass on my chest and sent me for a biopsy, I didn’t imagine it was anything serious.
Josh was getting some things from home when the doctor broke the news to me I had cancer and explained an oncologist would be with me soon.
When I told Josh, he remained cool and calm, nodding as he took in the information when the oncologist arrived and told me I had leukaemia – cancer of the blood.
While I was blue-lighted to Bristol Royal Infirmary, all I could think about was my bump.
When I was told I’d have to start chemotherapy right away, I shook my head – what on earth would it do to my unborn baby?
But doctors explained the risk to me and my baby of refusing chemo was far worse.
Plus, they said the first two rounds were lower strength and the baby would be scanned every week.
I’d have a caesarean at 32 weeks, then start a stronger dose of chemo.
Because the type of leukaemia I had – T-cell acute lymphoblastic leukaemia – was aggressive, I’d need a bone marrow transplant, too.
Thankfully, the worst side effect of treatment was extreme fatigue.
But every night, I’d curl my hands around my bump and cry. The day of my caesarean was the most emotional of my life – exciting but scary.
When Freddie was born at 3pm weighing 3lb 10oz, I was allowed a quick cuddle before he was taken to the neonatal unit.
It was midnight by the time he’d been checked and breathing apparatus fitted to help his premature lungs, and we could see him.
But then Freddie had to be moved to another hospital to be treated on a specialist neonatal unit, and I was devastated to be apart from my newborn baby.
Each morning, I’d call to see how he was, then after chemo I’d drag myself the five-minute walk up the hill to sit with him.
Josh and I took turns visiting, but the guilt was overwhelming.
Thankfully, Freddie was doing well and we could hold him. I couldn’t breastfeed due to the chemo, but he took to a bottle well.
I was allowed home at the end of August when chemo ended, and Freddie was discharged two months later.
The day of my caesarean was the most emotional of my life.
Sophie Sutton
However, in November I had to return for my transplant, isolating in a room for three weeks while I underwent intense chemotherapy, total body irradiation and the transplant itself.
I felt so weak, I lost my hair, my mouth was covered in ulcers – and I missed Freddie with a physical longing.
Josh took on all the nappy changes and feeds, and when he was at work, my mum Jane, 58, or Josh’s mum Angela, 60, helped.
By the new year, I was able to eat more and I began to regain my strength and look after Freddie more.
The treatment has damaged my ovaries and forced me into early menopause, and because I’d been pregnant, doctors couldn’t take any eggs.
Although we no longer have the choice of another baby, we never take our family for granted.
While Freddie took a little longer to meet his milestones as a baby, there is no sign he’s been affected long-term.
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I’m still checked regularly, but the risk of leukaemia coming back goes down significantly after five years – and we’re nearly there.
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Every time I look at Freddie, my cheeky, sweet four year old, I can’t feel anything but lucky.
- Sophie Sutton, 34, a legal secretary, lives in Bristol with husband Josh, 35, a fencer and landscaper, and son Freddie, four.
- Leukaemia affects around one in 100,000 pregnant women in the UK. The condition is most often diagnosed during the second or third trimester of a pregnancy.