We’re a throuple like David Haye and Una Healy – and people are always shocked when we tell them how the sex works
THEY had been dating for three years when Alana Miller first approached boyfriend Kevin with the idea of bringing a third person into their relationship.
It was 2020 and the 25-year-old, who had always been open about her “bi-curiosity”, was not worried about how he would react.
She says: “My sexuality had been brought up here and there throughout our relationship so that made it easier to tell him.
“We are very open and have strong communication with each other, so I felt comfortable talking to him.”
Kevin, 32, who works as a product manager for a start-up, was reassured that it was not because Alana was not satisfied with him and agreed to “go along with her on the journey”.
Before long, the couple had fallen in love with 30-year-old Megan Smith, who they met through specialist threesome dating app 3Fun, and now they all live as a throuple together in California.
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The trio share the same bed and split chores, and as Megan quips, “Let’s not forget about rent, which is split three ways”.
Initially, Kevin and boutique owner Alana were looking for little more than a hook-up with another woman.
Kevin says: “Alana wanted to see if she was bisexual, so we weren’t looking for a long-term partner.
“But getting to know Megan, we fell in love with her really fast so we thought, ‘Let’s see how this goes and dive headfirst’.
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Recently-divorced Megan, an operations manager, was also looking for a casual fling.
She says: “I’ve always been bisexual but I hadn’t really had a lot of experience with males so I wanted to experiment and have some fun.
“But I quickly fell for them as well.”
Lockdown restrictions meant physical dates were delayed and the threesome talked for a year online.
According to Megan, early interactions were “similar to when you meet someone one-on-one, just getting to know each other”.
Now, the only boundary we have is that we don’t date or flirt with people outside our relationship.
Alana Underwood
Kevin introduced compatibility tests to their dating, including the Myers-Briggs personality test used by psychologists and another on “love language”.
And the trio found they were a perfect match — so much so that in July 2021 Megan moved in with Alana and Kevin.
Alana admits to having jealous feelings at the start of the relationship, which she describes as a “natural response, with it being the first time sharing your partner”.
But setting strict rules when it came to intimacy helped.
Megan explains: “We set certain boundaries around sex where in the first six months we would only be intimate as a threesome.
"Then, once we were all comfortable, we were able to split off into our own one-on-one relationships.”
Alana and Kevin took steps to make Megan feel included in their lives, including scrapping their old anniversary in favour of a new throuple date.
“Alana and I both decided to create a new relationship so that Megan didn’t feel like a plus one,” says Kevin.
“So it was like breaking up, where we wouldn’t celebrate our original anniversary date but start a new one with Megan.
“And we changed a lot of the pictures in the apartment so that they include all three of us. It was really important to us that Megan felt an equal in the relationship.”
Now 18 months in, the ban on one-to-one sex has been lifted.
Megan says: “We’re completely comfortable with two people being intimate without the other if, for example, one of us is at work and the other two are at home. We don’t have to report to each other.”
Alana adds: “Now, the only boundaries we have is that we don’t date or flirt with people outside our relationship.
“And if there is to be any intimacy when all three of us are home, everyone is welcome to be a part of that, if they want to.
We plan to be with each other long-term but there’s no plan to get married. We’re all in love with each other.
Kevin
“If they don’t, the other two are still welcome to be intimate on their own.”
The trio share their unusual journey on TikTok under the name Camp Throuple.
In a recently posted video, they explained their sleeping arrangements, which see them rotate nightly so that a different person is in the middle.
But Kevin says if the one in the middle needs to get up in the night, “everybody wakes up”.
Megan chimes in: “We like cuddling.”
During the day, Alana is out at work while Megan and Kevin work from home.
But they take extra care to ensure Alana does not feel left out.
Megan says: “When Alana gets home from work, Kevin and I shower her with love, because she’s been gone all day.”
Leisure time is carefully managed to make sure everyone gets a say and outings are planned ahead.
Kevin and Alana love the movies, so will often go to the cinema together without Megan, while the two girls will leave Kevin behind if they want to get their nails done or enjoy a spa day.
“It does take much longer to decide on things like what to eat, what to watch or what we want to do with our time off work because there are three different opinions,” says Alana.
But Megan says that arguments are few and far between.
She adds: “We do have to be very conscious if there is an argument between two people that the third person gives them space and it doesn’t feel like two against one.”
On the upside, Kevin says housework is a lot easier with three pairs of hands.
We set certain boundaries around sex. For the first six months we would only be intimate as a threesome.
Megan Smith
He adds: “When it comes to chores, we knock them out fast. We just divide and conquer.”
While the trio seem deliriously happy with their unconventional romance, not everyone in their lives is on board.
For Megan, it was easy to tell her “hippie” family about the threesome, but Kevin and Alana’s parents had different reactions.
Alana says: “When I initially told my parents, they were shocked, but they were also accepting and seem to just want me to be happy.
“Our friends have all been really supportive and are really excited for us. They all welcomed Megan into their lives and love her.”
Kevin, who comes from a religious background where he was home-schooled and attended church five days a week, did not get such an enthusiastic response.
He says: “I knew they weren’t going to be welcoming it with open arms, but I wanted my family to know the real me so I just told them the situation.
“My dad was hesitant at first but then said, ‘You’re my son, I love you unconditionally’. But my mum, who also loves me, is having a harder time accepting my relationship and I haven’t had any contact with her since.”
The throuple’s social media posts also attract a fair amount of abuse, alongside the positive comments, but they say the “best way to treat ignorance is with love and compassion”.
Looking to the future, all three have ruled out having children.
Kevin, who was married before and split from his wife because she wanted a family, had a vasectomy two years ago.
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He adds: “We plan to be with each other long-term but there’s no plan for us to get married.
“We’re individuals going through life together and we’re doing this because we want to and we’re all in love with each other.”
HOW TO MAKE IT WORK FOR YOU
By Sally Land, Sun Agony Aunt
THEY say two’s company and three’s a crowd – and judging from the contents of my mailbox, a lot of people struggle to make relationships involving three people work.
To be clear, a throuple describes a committed and romantic relationship between three people.
This is not to be mistaken for a threesome, which involves sex between three people, or an open relationship, where people have sex with people other than their partner.
I receive plenty of emails from readers who have tried threesomes, throuples and open relationships and ended up more miserable than ever.
My advice would be to only begin considering non-monogamy if you are secure in yourself and your relationship.
If you struggle with jealousy, this is not the set-up for you.
Those who say they have made non-monogamy work invariably operate with basic rules.
Firstly, they are good communicators, ensuring they are open and honest with each other.
Secondly, they make absolutely sure all partners agree.
Thirdly, they consider and discuss their long-term relationship goals.
They check in with each other regularly, ensuring everyone is still comfortable with the set-up.
And finally, they establish clear boundaries and expectations – and, crucially, they respect them.
It’s interesting that the throuple in this feature do not want children, which is exactly the sort of long-term life goal that is so important to discuss.
Not only would it cause problems if one partner desperately wanted a child while the other two did not, it’s also crucial to ensure any children are brought into a loving and stable environment.
If you would like support from my team of trained counsellors, please email deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk.
