I’ve got a long-term partner but have a £100k ‘runaway fund’ in case it goes wrong – all women need to do the same

ACROSS the UK the cost of living is biting – leaving savings at an all-time low.

A quarter of adults in the  UK have a nest egg of less than £100.

But savvy women are finding ways to stay financially secure with a “runaway fund”.

A study found 13 per cent of females have a secret bank account  their partner is unaware of.

Earlier this month, a debate raged on social sharing site Mumsnet as one woman begged fellow mums to start their own secret saving account, which she cheekily named a “f*** you fund”.

The unnamed user insisted: “Having savings and the ability to walk away is having POWER, and the best ‘self care’ a woman can have.”

One lady who is proud of her runaway fund is canny Hayley Bystram.

The dating agency owner, 45, from Guildford, Surrey, found herself facing a mountain of debt and on the point of financial ruin when her marriage broke down in 2007.

From that day on, she was determined to have a runaway fund, which now stands at an incredible £100,000.

The mum-of-three says: “I’d never heard about runaway funds during my marriage.

“I believed my relationship was going to last for ever when I met my partner at 19.

Loan debts

“We married in 2004, bought a flat and opened a joint bank account.

He was responsible for the bills and I was happy to let him be.

“In 2007, three years into the marriage, I discovered that loan debts had been run up in both our names without my ­knowledge.

“The debts led to our relationship breaking down, he moved to the US and I had no money except for the salary from my office job, which didn’t cover the mortgage, bills and repaying the debts.

“There were times when I had nothing to live on.

"I moved back in with my parents and started renting out my flat on a short-term lease to businesses, which brings in more money than long-term leases, and this made me £2,500 a month.

“I challenged the banks and had the debts wiped.

"After two years of being single, I met my partner and started my own exclusive dating agency charging approximately £10,000 annually for ­membership.

“It turned a profit in the first year and my first priority was starting a runaway fund.

“I paid myself a tiny salary so I could take a lump sum dividend at the end of the year.

"This sum varied, but was up to £20,000 which went straight into a savings account.

“I kept this up for seven years. I transferred my savings account to various  ISAs and funds and it is worth about £100,000.

"That is my runaway fund.

“I will never be as naive, trusting and silly as I was back then. I’ve been with my partner for 14 years.

"We share three children but never a bank account.

“He understands why it has to be that way.

“My advice to other women is, no matter how happy you think your marriage is, always have control of your own money to maintain your independence and have a bit put by.

“You never know what will happen in your relationship.”

Monica Ellis from Leeds also understands the importance of having a secret nest egg.

The freelance writer, 51, found herself homeless after splitting with a boyfriend and decided to create a £10,000 runaway fund.

She says: “I had been with the man I thought I would marry for two years.

"He ended the relationship and I quickly moved out of his house.

“Within 24 hours I found myself sleeping on a friend’s sofa, with my clothes in bin bags. I had no money, no job, no home and it was the scariest point of my life.

“Luckily, my bank gave me an £800 overdraft — enough to pay the deposit and a month’s rent on a one-bed flat until my benefits came through.

"Within a year I had found an office job, but I never forgot feeling so ­vulnerable. I realised the ­importance of a runaway fund.

“In 42 per cent of marriages there is a separation, so your relationship is quite likely to end, and then you could be screwed financially.

“Five years later, I met and fell in love with a teacher.

" Straight away I started a runaway fund in case we broke up.

“It was tiny increments at first, a maximum of £20 monthly, but I did not touch it ever.

"We’ve been in a happy relationship for 25 years, but I’ve been saving whenever I can and I now have £10,000 and my partner did not know about the amount until I told him this week.

"I have seen people on social media calling these savings a ‘f* you fund’, which I think is apt.

"As a woman, you need to be able to escape toxic situations.

“Never put your ‘f*** you’ cash in a joint account and try to save every month, even if it’s pennies.

“People criticise these funds as unromantic, although no one has ever said this to my face. They are naive.

“Having no personal savings shows a lack of responsibility and care towards yourself.

"My own runaway fund makes me feel safe, my partner understands why I need financial security because of my past relationship.

“I love my long-term partner very much, but I would never pool our assets, even though we share a home.

"We have our own bank accounts and split all the bills.

“Every woman should have money stashed away.

Meanwhile, Linzi Kavanagh was devastated that she did not create a runaway fund.

The divorce coach, 46, never thought she would need such a contingency plan and this was a decision she now regrets.

The mum-of-three, from Glasgow, says: “I remember my friend saying, just after I’d given birth to my first child, that every wife needs a ‘you never know fund’.

“I had a doting husband so, infuriatingly, her words did not resonate. I married my ex in 2003, opened a joint account and we bought our first house.

“A year into the ­marriage I fell pregnant with our daughter, now 18, and went on to have two more children, now 17 and 13.

“We agreed, after our first child, I would give up my job as an advocate for people with additional needs to be a full-time mum and we would live on his salary as an auditor.

“I never worried about a runaway fund as I was convinced my marriage would last.

“When our youngest was seven, I started working one day a week at our local primary school as a classroom assistant.

"I handed the money to my husband.

“The following year, what felt like out of the blue, my husband sent me an email saying he wanted to end the marriage.

“As soon as he moved out of the family home, I was overwhelmed with bills and had no money to pay them.

“My ex paid the mortgage and some child support, but that only covered the food. I was responsible for everything else. I constantly worried.

“If I’d put away just a few pounds a week during my marriage, I would have had that money to fall back on.

“It took three years for me to get my head above water financially.

“Now, although I am ­single, I have a ‘you never know’ fund that is ready and waiting.

"It’s just enough to cover my expenses for a few months if the worst happens.”