Struggling to stick to your New Year’s resolutions? Here’s how to swap your bucket list for a pocket list
How are your New Year’s resolutions going?
It’s estimated that just 6% of people stick to theirs for at least nine months,* and most are likely to have abandoned them by last Friday.**
Psychologists say it’s partly because we tend to “think big”.
While admirable, striving for life-changing goals undeniably comes with a certain amount of pressure.
So, if you’re currently trying to tick off a bucket list of experiences, achievements and life goals this year, consider a “pocket list” instead.
This sees you dial down your dreams to a set of goals that are altogether easier to achieve.
“Often when we feel overwhelmed by big goals, we may avoid taking action altogether or we procrastinate,” says psychologist Dr Rina Bajaj.
“A frequent sense of achievement boosts motivation and encourages continued progress.
"It creates a positive feedback loop that keeps you motivated to pursue larger goals, builds confidence and develops a sense of self-efficacy that can be transferred to more significant goals.”
A study by Oppo found that 90% of women say they feel happier when they’re nailing a smaller lifestyle goal, with 80% saying it makes them feel inspired to tackle what’s next on their list.
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It’s a method one of the most successful people in the world has been following for years – champion boxer Tyson Fury recently revealed he only sets himself small and short-term goals to build self-belief.
Meanwhile, Michael Phelps, the most successful Olympic swimmer of all time, is said to be driven by small goals while training.
And many businesses use SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-based.
Should we set goals at all?
It’s important to set intentions for our future, according to Dr Bajaj, who believes that a little direction can deliver big results for our mental wellbeing.
“Goals are important for our quality of life,” she says.
“On an individual level, they help to give us meaning and purpose, and when we reach our goals it gives us a sense of accomplishment, which has a positive impact on our self-esteem.”
Reaching a goal, even if it’s just hitting 5,000 extra steps per day for a whole week, gives you a can-do attitude, which will drive you to continue setting goals.
“It also pushes us out of our comfort zone, which can motivate us to overcome challenges and setbacks, help us to build resilience and have a more positive outlook on life,” says Dr Bajaj.
Goal-setting can be rewarding for couples, too, and even reignite the spark in long-term relationship.
“It creates a shared vision, which can foster a sense of unity and collaboration,” she explains.
“This can encourage better communication and emotional intimacy.
"We can also be inspired by our partner being proactive and see them in a different, light.”
Does size really matter?
Big goals or resolutions, such as buying your dream home, often fail because there are no small steps taken towards them.
Perhaps you’ve told people you will finally lose weight in 2024, but what about the challenges you’ll need to overcome to get there
Dawn Breslin, author and life coach says: “When we set goals, we begin to imagine ourselves as the person who is achieving the goal and our ego becomes attached to that identity.
"If we don’t achieve what we set out to do, it can lead to burnout, stress-related illness, relationship breakdown, depression, jealousy and comparison in our quest to tick off the list.”
Are bite-size goals best?
If you’re notoriously bad at sticking to your resolutions, all is not lost – going bite-size can be just as rewarding.
“The pocket list allows you to connect with the moment, the day, your friends and family, your body, your breath, your creativity, your joy, your life,” says Dawn.
“Pocket-list goals are designed to bring you back to you in the now and take your focus away from the future and the pressure of the destination.”
You could always keep both a bucket list and a pocket list to take the pressure off short-term, without losing sight of the bigger picture,
Dawn says. So, while that novel you want to write sits on ice, try your hand at a short story for now.
Or if you wish to be teetotal, set a goal of reducing the number of units you have each week.
How to keep a pocket list
Dr Rina Bajaj outlines her top tips for achieving your goals in 2024:
Start by reflecting on your passions, interests and the things that bring you joy in life, as this will help you identify the key areas to focus on.
Take some time to brainstorm ideas and create a list of items you would like to include, then prioritise them to create clear, actionable steps.
Ensure that each goal is specific and measurable, as this will help you to know when you have achieved the goal.
Instead of including something vague like “travel more”, specify a particular destination or a specific number of trips you want to take.
Break down each item on your pocket list into smaller steps.
This makes the goals more manageable and increases the likelihood of achieving them.
Assign a timeframe or deadline for each step on your pocket list.
Having a specific timeline, whether within weeks, months or years, helps create a sense of urgency and accountability.
Consider creating a visual representation of your pocket list, such as a vision board or a digital document that you can refer to regularly.
Get creative with it – include images, quotes or symbols that represent each of your goals to inspire you and keep you motivated.
Start taking action on your pocket list goals.
Begin with the smaller steps and gradually work your way towards the bigger ones.
Regularly review your progress, reassess goals and make adjustments as needed.
Celebrate each achievement along the way, and don’t be afraid to modify or add new goals as your interests and priorities evolve.
THE GOAL: BE LESS STRESSED
Try this pocket list to work up to the bigger goal of feeling less stressed…
One-month goal Create a sleep schedule – put your phone away an hour before bed, write down your thoughts, read and sleep before 10.30pm.
Two-month goal Get better at prioritising tasks outside of work by creating a list either before bed or in the morning, for the following day or the whole week.
Divide them into “urgent” and “important” and accept that some might not get done.
Three-month goal Learn to schedule in some me-time, rather than just stumbling across it.
Try reading the book Boundaries: When To Say Yes, When To Say No, To Take Control Of Your Life by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend.
Four-month goal Create a habit of something you find de-stressing.
For example, if you want to try meditation, commit to an eight-week programme on the Headspace app.
Five-month goal Reduce alcohol intake, starting with alternating between alcohol and water, to drinking on just two days a week, to drinking occasionally.
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Six-month goal Exercise more, starting with a walk each lunchtime, or do one or two fitness classes at your local gym each week.
You could also try the NHS running app Couch to 5K to get moving.
- Photography: Getty Images
- Sources: *Forbes **Strava Visit Dawnbreslin.com Boundaries: When To Say Yes, When To Say No, To Take Control Of Your Life by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend (£9.99, Zondervan)
