My husband cheated while I was pregnant with our disabled girl – I’ve taken him back and I don’t care if people judge me
Christine wasn't afraid to confront the other woman either
Having a baby should be the happiest time in a woman’s life, full of hope and excitement for the future.
But Christine Yapp, 34, was dealt a double, devastating blow just five months after giving birth – something most women, especially those in the throes of hormones and sleepless nights , would struggle to even comprehend.
Not only was she enduring the heartbreak of finding out her child had spina bifida, but a man who she thought was a loving, supportive husband had been having a full-blown affair.
And, while deceit signals the end for many marriages, full-time mum Christine has gone on to forgive Murray, 40, a quantity surveyor, because she refuses to throw away their 20-year relationship.
She says: “Not everyone will understand but we’ve too much history together to throw it away without trying to work things out.
“Don’t get me wrong – I’ve cried so many tears and it is always on my mind, but I have more reasons to stay than to go.”
It was five months after giving birth to their daughter, Silver, now 18 months, who is paralysed from the waist down, when Christine unearthed messages between Murray and another woman.
Worse still, Christine discovered the pair had been sneaking off together during her difficult pregnancy.
It came to light in February last year when Christine checked her husband’s phone after becoming suspicious.
Christine says: “The December before I noticed a few messages from a woman pop up on Murray’s phone. I was sure it was someone he worked with so I wasn’t worried.
“But in the New Year, I caught him hiding his phone from me and noticed him looking at his phone and smiling a lot.
“In the end I couldn’t take it anymore, so when he wasn’t in the room, I checked his phone.
While I had been carrying our disabled baby, spending every waking moment worrying about her, Murray had been leading a secret life instead of being there for me. It had been going on for a year.
Christine
“When I scrolled through a stream of messages between Murray and the woman, my jaw dropped. They were expressing their love for each other and what they planned to do to each other when in person.
“It killed me to see so many long adoring messages between the two of them. I hadn’t been receiving any nice texts from Murray and now I knew why. He’d been sending them all to her.”
To her shock, Christine worked out the affair had started when she was around 18 weeks’ pregnant – after the couple had been told Silver would have lifelong health issues.
Something that didn’t deter Murray from turning to another woman for support.
She says: “While I had been carrying our disabled baby, spending every waking moment worrying about her, Murray had been leading a secret life instead of being there for me. It had been going on for a year.
“I’d thought he’d been too overwhelmed to talk about things, but he was actually confiding in another woman.”
Teen sweethearts
Christine met Murray when she was 14, he was five years older. Her adoptive mum dated Murray’s dad and the teens got together too.
After seven years together, their first daughter, Summer, 14, came along and the couple married in July 2011, when she was 18 months old.
Months after the wedding, they found out they were expecting son, Chase, 11, and three more kids followed – girls Skye, nine, and Sienna, seven, and another boy, Phoenix, five.
“I just kept on getting pregnant and we joked how fertile we must be,” says Christine, from Weymouth, Dorset. “We’d only planned to have two kids, but now we had five.
“Skye was born with spina bifida and caring for her brought its own challenges, but we just took one day at a time and remained a team, or so I thought.
We had five kids already and we had agreed I’d get sterilised, but I just hadn’t got around to it.
Christine
“And then before I knew it, I was pregnant for a sixth time.
“I’d did a pregnancy test in January 2022 after my period was late and waited until Murray got home, told him to close his eyes and handed him the test. He was speechless.
“We had five kids already and we had agreed I’d get sterilised, but I just hadn’t got around to it.”
While pregnant with their sixth baby, Christine got the devastating news at a 17-week scan that this child also had spina bifida.
“The sonographer asked me to lie almost upside-down with my feet in the air, so she could scan my pelvis,” she says.
“I laughed, feeling silly, but seconds later, the mood changed dramatically.
“She told me our baby had a form of spina bifida, like our other daughter. It was like a bad dream. I burst into tears and phoned Murray to tell him the heart breaking news.”
“It killed me to see so many long adoring messages between the two of them. I hadn’t been receiving any nice texts from Murray and now I knew why.”
Christine Yapp
Two weeks later, Christine had another scan.
“The doctor told us there was a large defect on the baby’s brain, and the lower limbs weren’t moving,” she recalls.
“When he explained the severity of our baby’s brain changes and the size of the spinal lesion, I began to sob uncontrollably. After having two healthy children since Skye, I never imagined this would happen again.”
The doctor explained the baby’s developmental problems would be more severe than Skye’s and would require extensive surgery at birth and afterwards.
Christine and Murray were asked if they wanted to terminate the pregnancy, but they refused.
“We wanted to keep the baby. Skye lived a happy life, so how could we refuse our unborn baby a chance of the same?” Christine explains.
Changing behaviour
It was soon after this that Christine noticed Murray becoming very withdrawn.
“While I turned to friends and Facebook groups for support, he clammed up and wouldn’t talk,” she says.
“Throughout the pregnancy, which consisted of many scans and check-ups, Murray seemed distant. His loving messages disappeared, and we barely spoke.”
In September 2022, Christine had a C-section and delivered their sixth child, Silver, at Southampton Children’s Hospital.
“I held her in my arms, gazing at her tiny nose and lips. I was so glad she was here,” Christine says.
“She was paralysed from the waist down but to me, she was perfect.”
Silver was taken into theatre for a back closure operation – her spine hadn’t formed properly – and spent two weeks in hospital recovering.
She was allowed home for four days before returning to get a shunt fitted, to help drain the fluid from her brain.
Silver was making good progress but needed round-the-clock care and it was during this time when Christine made the shocking discovery on Murray’s phone.
Murray took some time off work and we got everything out in the open. In fact, we spoke more that week than we had in years.
“At first, I didn’t tell him I knew,” she says.
“My heart was racing and my mind reeling all night long in bed next to him. Then the next morning, on the Saturday, I put some stuff in a bag for me and Silver.
“I told Murray she had conjunctivitis and was going to the pharmacy. But I went to my best friend’s house for some time to think, and blocked Murray so he couldn’t contact me.
“I hated being apart from my other children but I needed space.”
Murray took some time off work and we got everything out in the open. In fact, we spoke more that week than we had in years.
Christine
Two days after leaving, Christine decided to confront the woman Murray had been seeing.
“Knowing Murray had the day off with the kids, I approached the other woman at her workplace,” she says.
“Her face went white when she saw me.
“As we talked, she seemed genuinely sorry and claimed she’d called things off before Silver was born.
“But she couldn’t have been that sorry as she would have known what she was doing and what was going on at home.
“When I returned home, the day before Valentine’s Day, I confronted Murray. He said he’d been stressed, I wasn’t there for him, and that he needed someone to talk to.
“But I pointed out, what about him being there for me?
“Murray took some time off work and we got everything out in the open. In fact, we spoke more that week than we had in years.”
Rebuilding the love
Over the next few months, Christine came to the realisation that despite Murray’s cruel infidelity, she could forgive him.
“Murray is my childhood sweetheart, an amazing dad to our six kids, and despite his imperfections, I couldn’t imagine life without him,” she says.
“We agreed to stay together, as long as we both worked on our communication.”
Now, the couple say things are going well and they are a happy family.
Christine says: “Silver has some bad days but so many good days too, and her cheeky smile lights up our world.
“I’ve been left with trust issues, but Murray and I are working as a team to care for our incredible children.
“I may never forget his deception, but I will certainly try my best to forgive him.”
Murray was approached for comment but declined.
