‘I’ve forgiven Simon – he’s walking me down the aisle’, Lucy Spraggan on how Cowell helped her recover from sex attack

LUCY Spraggan is recalling the moment she and her girlfriend got engaged after one month together, while on a flight to Barbados to holiday with Simon Cowell and his fiancée Lauren Silverman.

“On the plane, I don’t even know who said what, but I was like: ‘Let’s just get married!’ Both of us were like: ‘Yeah!’ It just made loads of sense,” says Lucy, 32, who fell for photographer Emilia Smith, 33 – her friend of 10 years – last December.

“Emilia and I were those friends who said: ‘If we’re not married by the time we’re 40, we’ll get married to each other,’ and somehow, this deep friendship opened up into attraction.”

Following the spontaneous proposal in January, the former star of The X Factor had one more question to pop.

“We’d been staying at Simon and Lauren’s house for a few days. One morning, Simon was about to get in the sea and I said: ‘Will you give me away?’ and he replied: ‘Yeah!’ He went off for a swim and when he came back, he said: ‘I’d absolutely love to. It would be an honour.’”

Lucy – who is estranged from her birth father – has built a rock-solid relationship with the 64-year-old music mogul over the past four years, since he apologised for failing to support her following a horrific sexual assault during her time on The X Factor in October 2012.

Lucy – then 21 – was attacked in a hotel room following a night out celebrating fellow X Factor star Rylan Clark’s 24th birthday.

After being out drinking, Lucy was chaperoned to her hotel by an ITV crew member who received help getting Lucy to her room from hotel porter Soby John.

Later, using a staff key card, John returned to Lucy’s room, where he committed a prolonged sexual assault on her while she was passed out. 

Within two weeks of the attack, fan-favourite Lucy quit the talent show.

For a decade, with her anonymity legally protected, Lucy felt unable to speak publicly about what had happened.

But following the suicide of former Love Island presenter Caroline Flack in February 2020, which sparked an intense debate about the safeguarding of British reality TV stars, Lucy felt compelled to share her experience.

Last year, in her bestselling memoir Process: Finding My Way Through, Lucy slammed the four companies behind The X Factor – ITV, Syco, Sony and producers Fremantle – for their lack of support following her exit. 

Most shockingly, she was never contacted in April 2013 after John pleaded guilty to rape and was sentenced to 10 years in prison (he served just three and a half years before being deported to India). 

She was also never offered counselling or rehabilitation, which she blames for ruining her mental health and contributing to drink and drug abuse, leading to a suicide attempt in 2014.

'Get over it'

Today, nearly five years sober after going teetotal in July 2019, Lucy has spent thousands on private therapy, but still battles anxiety and PTSD, which is triggered by entering hotel rooms or visiting London.

“I don’t feel fear, I feel sheer panic,” she says.

She is currently having eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to help reduce her symptoms, and doesn’t underestimate the impact of Simon’s apology.

“His apology healed a part of my being that I didn’t know needed healing,” says Lucy.

“A lot of former X Factor contestants were a bit salty and, for a long time, I was like: ‘I’ve been hard done by, f**k this.’ Then one day, I thought: ‘Get over it. Let’s go a different way.’” 

That coincided with Simon reaching out after she alerted Syco, ITV and Fremantle to what was in her memoir.

His apology healed a part of my being that I didn’t know needed healing

Lucy

“When we first made contact, I didn’t think for one second that all this would blossom into friendship.

"We ended up talking about life, then he’d call to say: ‘I just wanted to check in on you.’”

Lucy, who independently releases her music, but signed a deal with Syco Publishing 18 months ago, is now a regular at Simon and Lauren’s homes across the globe.

“When I’m in America, I go to their house in LA. Then the other night, we did a murder mystery night at their place in the Cotswolds, which was hilarious.

“I authentically love the guy, I love Lauren, I love their son Eric, I love Lauren’s other son Adam.

"We’re all great friends. I care about them, they care about me, and Simon really cares about my life, my wellness and my music. Simon and Lauren feel like surrogate parents. They’re always looking out for me.”

As well as building bridges with Simon, Lucy’s relationship with ITV has been restored and last October, she had a meaningful pow-wow with ITV’s director of television Kevin Lygo.

“I said: ‘Look, I’m not an enemy. I don’t want to burn anything down. I want to build stuff up.

"I said: ‘That was f**ked up, don’t let that happen again,’” says Lucy, who has shared with ITV her ideas about how to better protect future reality TV stars.

“Going on a reality TV show is like a huge trauma. You wake up one day and everyone’s talking about you. 

“I’d like to see TV bosses provide mental health resources and the creation of a mental health pension fund, where production companies have to delegate 5% of their costs into a pot for future mental health resources.”

Despite being one of the most successful X Factor stars ever – she’s had seven Top 40 albums and, in 2017, made history as the show’s only former contestant to play Glastonbury – for a decade, Lucy and her music were ghosted by ITV. Thankfully, no more.

Within the last year, as well as appearing on programmes such as Loose Women and Lorraine to promote her book, Lucy’s music is now getting airtime on shows like Love Island.

She’s also in the running for a huge prime-time reality series. 

Simon and Lauren feel like surrogate parents. They’re always looking out for me

Lucy

“On Thursday, I have an interview for my absolute favourite show, that’s as much as I can say,” she smiles. 

Lucy is similarly tight-lipped when discussing her next single – a re-release of her 2021 track Sober, which is a duet with a famous male British singer.

“I can’t tell you who it’s with, but he’s very entertaining,” she says. 

On that note, conversation turns to Louis Walsh’s stint on Celebrity Big Brother. During his time in the house the 71-year-old former X Factor judge delivered scathing rants about umpteen celebrities, including Simon, Ronan Keating and Jedward.  

“I didn’t watch the show, but it’s not in good taste to say anything about anyone when they aren’t there to defend themselves,” says Lucy. 

“[Louis] was always nice to me on the show and I didn’t see him much off-air. I’ve seen him a couple of times since and he’s been pleasant.

"I’ve never had anything bad to say about Louis, but then again, I don’t often say bad things about people!”

'Found each other'

Undoubtedly in a good place personally and professionally, Lucy believes that finding happiness with Emilia has helped her reach a new level of emotional stability – something she admits was lacking in past relationships, including her marriage to ex-wife Georgina Gordon, who she divorced in 2019 after six years together.

The pair were introduced by mutual friends in 2013, though Lucy admits Emilia initially thought she was “loud and obnoxious”. After she sobered up, however, they began to grow closer. 

“We’d go for walks together, go for dinner, go to spas,” says Lucy. “I never thought of her in a romantic sense until I broke up with my ex and Emilia texted to say: ‘I’m coming down to your show.’ 

“When I read it, I got butterflies. The next time we met, I thought: ‘I think I’m in love,’ so I said: ‘I’m feeling very intense feelings for you.’ She later told me that she was feeling the same.”

The couple moved in together on February 19 this year, and it was at their new home near Hull, East Yorkshire, where Lucy surprised Emilia on March 23 by formally proposing with a 0.9-carat Marquise-cut diamond solitaire ring.

“All Emilia’s family were in on it,” says Lucy, who dropped to one knee in front of 15 of Emilia’s nearest and dearest during a pizza and games night.

“We all put ‘Who Am I?’ stickers on our foreheads and Emilia’s read: ’Will you marry me?’ When she finally guessed, I asked her to be my wife. There were tears all round!”

Looking back, I had a severe eating disorder because all I thought about was what I consumed and the energy output

Lucy

Despite one failed marriage, Lucy is in no doubt that this time will be different.

“In every relationship I’ve had, there has been a sense of anxiety that something’s going to go wrong. With Emilia, we were friends for so long and we communicate so well, and I have a deep sense of knowing that it’s right.”

Diagnosed with ADHD last August, Lucy says that keeping on top of her mental health is an ongoing process.

“The diagnosis confirmed what I’ve known my whole life anyway – I have natural deficits of happy hormones and, scientifically, my mental health fluctuates.

"That’s why I put in the work. I’m always thinking: ‘What can I teach myself?’”

When she first gave up booze, Lucy became obsessed with fitness and exercise. 

She was running four times a week, doing regular two-hourly Olympic weight-lifting sessions and eating only 1,900 calories a day. Within a year, she had lost 3st, dropped four dress sizes and lost her 38C boobs, which she restored in 2020 with a boob job.

“Looking back, I had a severe eating disorder because all I thought about was what I consumed and the energy output. 

“Right now, I’ve got body neutrality, which has come from managing my stress through journalling, dealing with my trauma and understanding myself. When I stick to my mental health routines, my body shape doesn’t change. That’s when I’m happiest.

“My approach to fitness is now more balanced. I box three times a week, I play squash, run and lift weights occasionally and, as well as journalling and meditating every morning, I take ice baths three times a week.

"When I get in, a voice says: ‘Get out!’ and that is the same voice that says: ‘Go and have a drink.’ So I say: ‘No’, and stay in the freezing-cold water.”

Invitations have gone out to the couple’s wedding on Friday June 14 including to Rylan, 35, who Lucy says is “going to try and make it.” 

She adds: “He’s literally the busiest person I know, so hopefully he will be there! We speak a fair bit.”

Touring until June after supporting James Blunt on the UK leg of his tour, Lucy is then performing at numerous festivals through the summer, so neither a hen do nor an immediate honeymoon is likely. 

Part of the couple’s lifelong plan is to travel for three months every autumn and winter – and babies are not on the couple’s to-do list.

“Neither of us want to have kids, and we’re really comfortable with that,” says Lucy.

“I always feel pushback from people who say: ‘You might change your mind,’ but there are no rules, and when you’re gay, there’s really no playbook. Emilia and I just want to focus on living a wonderful and fun life.

“Thinking about how we’ve found each other is always emotional, because it’s like something out of a film. How often do you fall in love with your friend of 10 years?”  

• Catch Lucy supporting James Blunt in April and on her headline tour in May (Lucyspraggan.com/tour). Her new single will follow later this spring.